Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.

What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In the modern era, people like visiting another places. new genration like a going a out of city. becasue nowadays people like a other country culture and traditional places.over the past few decades, this topic has attraeted widespread attention. I vehemently believed that superority overshadow the staggering downsides.

Examining the brighter side, Nowadays people like a holidays spend on another country. It schools become a plan trip for student because they want student understand a another country culture and there watch circumsantance, difficult conditions. people going the antarctic and sahara desert as other palces. people go the summer vactions with all family. There stay the hotel and go the other place.

To add more into it, There not well weather condition and people general health condition. because they country very poor for money. however there not transport facilities avaliable and not well water condition. But people like a tourists the other poor country.

On the contrary, I would not overlooked the disadvantage. firstly, visit the other place more money waste and time. Therefore my day by day down and people not save a money.

To conclude after pondering deal over delibertion and thoughts. people should a visit the place a high money country and people give a more knowledge other place and understand a different place and they culture. Therefor parents encourage the childern.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response makes an attempt to discuss both benefits and disadvantages, but it only minimally addresses the specific question about tourists visiting difficult environments. The possible benefit of learning about another culture appears in the opening and conclusion, while the paragraph about poor weather, health, transport and water hints at risks; however, these points are unclear and are not explained in relation to places such as the Sahara or Antarctica. The disadvantage of spending money and time is also asserted rather than supported. The position is difficult to identify: “I vehemently believed that superority overshadow the staggering downsides” is unclear and conflicts with the later focus on disadvantages. The response is 26 words below the required minimum. Develop relevant benefits and risks with clear explanations and examples, and state a consistent overall view.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

Paragraphs provide a basic attempt at organising the response: there is an introduction, a paragraph beginning “Examining the brighter side,” a disadvantage paragraph, and a conclusion. Connectors such as “To add more into it,” “On the contrary,” and “To conclude” also signal stages in the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow because ideas are often listed without explanation, and some links do not show a clear contrast or addition. For example, the paragraph about weather and health moves abruptly to poverty, transport and water, without clarifying how these relate to tourists in remote environments. References such as “there” are also unclear. Use one paragraph for each side, develop a central point in each, and connect sentences with precise references and logical transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response attempts some topic-related vocabulary, including “culture,” “difficult conditions,” “transport facilities,” and “health condition,” and uses signposting phrases to introduce ideas. However, the range is basic and repetitive, with frequent spelling, word-form and collocation problems that make several points hard to understand. Examples include “another places,” “superority,” “poor for money,” and “money waste”; these do not express the intended ideas naturally or precisely. Repeated use of “people,” “place,” and “other” also limits clarity. Build a more accurate set of terms for remote travel, such as “extreme climate,” “limited medical services,” and “travel expenses,” and check spelling and common word combinations. More precise vocabulary would help distinguish benefits from risks.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to use both short statements and longer structures, including “because they want student understand…” and the contrast introduced by “On the contrary.” However, sentence control is inconsistent, and many sentences are incomplete or difficult to interpret. For example, “It schools become a plan trip for student” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “There stay the hotel and go the other place” has problems with subject choice, articles and sentence construction. Agreement and verb forms are also unreliable, as in “people like a holidays spend.” Punctuation and capitalisation are inconsistent, with sentence starts such as “new genration” and “becasue” left uncorrected. Practise forming complete subject–verb sentences first, then add subordinate clauses accurately.

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