Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.

What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, the tourists that are visiting places with hard difficults has become ever more common, they don't appreciate anymore the simple cities where they could visit the streets and museums,

this development has both advantages and disvantages, which will be disscussed in this essay.

one major advantage of visiting those places like the sahara and the antarctic is to try a new adventures, that means that they can discover different cultures of the sahara and also enjoy visiting many wonderfull places ,

for example, do a tour of sahara , riding camels , skating etc

However, there are also some disvantages, visiting those places is a little dangerous, espacially at the antartic , for axample if the tourists try to climb a mountain full of ice of try to skating.

in conclusion , this can not be always a good idea , if you attend to just visit places and try theire food etc i find that is okey , but trying to do dangerous activities i might disagree with that .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both sides of the question and give a relevant overall view: visiting remote places can offer new experiences, while dangerous activities may put tourists at risk. The examples of camel riding and ice-related activities help connect your ideas to the Sahara and Antarctica. However, the benefits are only briefly stated, and the disadvantages focus mainly on danger without explaining other consequences, such as extreme weather, isolation, or the need for costly preparation. Your conclusion introduces food and sightseeing but does not clearly weigh the benefits against the risks. The response is also 78 words below the required minimum, which limits how fully you can explain and support your points. Develop each side with reasons and specific examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph about benefits, a paragraph about disadvantages, and a conclusion. The transition “However” clearly signals the change to the opposing side, and “in conclusion” marks the ending. These features make the main direction understandable. However, progression within paragraphs is limited: the benefits paragraph moves quickly from “new adventures” to a short list, while the risk paragraph gives only one brief explanation. Some linking is mechanical, and the opening sentence runs several ideas together. Use separate, focused sentences and develop each paragraph in a clear sequence—for example, state a benefit, explain why it matters, then illustrate it. This would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “Sahara,” “Antarctic,” “cultures,” “camels,” and “dangerous,” so the reader can identify the subject and examples. There are also attempts to express less routine ideas, such as “new adventures.” However, the range is limited, and several inaccurate or misspelled forms make the writing less clear or natural, including “hard difficults,” “disvantages,” “wonderfull,” and “antartic.” Some phrases are also imprecise, such as “a tour of sahara” and “places with hard difficults.” Aim for accurate collocations and a wider set of terms for remote travel, such as “harsh conditions,” “extreme environments,” and “physical risks.” Proofreading spelling and word forms would improve clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple sentences and more complex structures, including “this development has both advantages and disadvantages, which will be discussed in this essay” and a conditional example beginning “if the tourists try to climb.” This shows some ability to connect clauses and express a condition. However, errors are frequent, and several sentences are awkwardly formed or punctuated. For example, the opening joins two independent ideas with a comma, and “one major advantage … is to try a new adventures” has problems with article use and sentence structure. The final sentence also shifts between “I find” and “I might disagree,” making the viewpoint difficult to follow. Practise accurate sentence boundaries, articles, singular/plural forms, and consistent clause structures; then check each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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