Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.
What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Nowadays, many tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert, or the Antarctic. There are several benefits and drawbacks that I will discuss in thus essay and will discuss about reasons for this.
people are becoming a more stylist and enjoying their lives in their own ways. This is because of competition is increasing among them. every one wants to shows their lifestyles to others. As a result, they often visit the place which is not safe for them. For example, individuals often go to some dangerous places such as a Sahara Desert or Antarctic.
However there are several benefits for this. one significant advantages is that tourists can explore their culture and know about these kinds of historical places by visiting them. Moreover, It helps them to feel relaxed and calm by doing some adventures and taking photographs, making their an experience memorable. For Instance, people who are fascinated about a photography, they often visit this types of place for capturing beautiful nature. As a result, they can returned home with positive energy and beautiful memories.
On the other hand, it has causes some disadvantages. The main issues is that it is time- consuming and wasting a money. people can consume more time to vising these places instead of spending time in study. As a result, it affects their profession skills. Sometimes they spend more money to visiting a unsafe places. This is a not safe for them to visit. The tourists places such as desert or oceans can leads to accidents. For examples, number of accidents have reported in Antarctic and Sahara desert. As a result, they can put a person's life in dangerous.
In conclusion, while, visiting places such as a Sahara desert or Antarctic are important to enjoying nature and for relaxing. However, there are disadvantages out weighs the advantages such as
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both the benefits and disadvantages of visiting extreme environments. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and occasionally repetitive. For instance, the argument regarding 'lifestyle' and 'competition' in the second paragraph is not clearly linked to the prompt about extreme tourism. While the benefits (exploration, relaxation) and drawbacks (cost, safety) are identified, the conclusion is incomplete, trailing off without summarizing the main points or providing a final thought. To reach a higher band, ensure that every paragraph directly supports the prompt and that the essay structure is fully completed.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'For Instance, people who are fascinated about a photography, they often visit this types of place'. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the transition between ideas feels abrupt in places. The final paragraph is unfinished, which significantly impacts the overall coherence of the piece. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, logical conclusion will help improve the flow and readability of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'a more stylist', 'profession skills', and 'wasting a money'. While the meaning is generally clear, the limited range of vocabulary restricts the ability to express complex ideas fluently. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and using more precise terminology related to travel and environmental risks, while paying closer attention to articles (a/an/the) and pluralization.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('it has causes', 'can leads to'), article usage ('a Sahara Desert', 'a unsafe places'), and sentence fragments. Some sentences are difficult to parse due to these errors, such as 'This is a not safe for them to visit.' While the errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to distract the reader. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like subject-verb agreement would be highly beneficial.
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