Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.

What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, tourism is very popular among people. In this Morden era, every one prefer to visit places which gives thriller experience like Sahara forest. I will describe the advantages and disadvantage of that in the ensuing paragraphs.

To begin with, Explore the beauty of nature is wonderful experience for every individual. To visit Sahara desert has enormous benefits. Firstly, It is a desert with different types wildlife people can watch them and capture the movement for memories. Secondly, people can learn about the basic surviving skills which is necessary to live in such a dry place. Lastly, Sahara desert is natural beauty people can explore the local area and learn about their culture and habitant.

Furthermore, To visit Sahara desert has a couple of disadvantage as well. As a desert it has a very hot temperature in that area which might be not suitable for some people. Moreover, whether are not predictable at Sahara lead to health issues such as a vomiting, diarrhoea, and fever. It has rocky landscape Therefore, transport may be the issue and people needs to walk for longer period of time. The basic neceassesary are might be not available like food and water to drink.

To conclude, Tourism has two side if people want to enjoy the beauty of place they can enjoy it by going anywhere in the world. It is totally depends on their choices.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the benefits and disadvantages of visiting extreme environments. However, the development of ideas is limited, and the essay fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which negatively impacts the overall task achievement. While the prompt asks for reasons and examples, the examples provided (such as 'wildlife' in the Sahara) are somewhat generic and lack depth. The conclusion is also quite brief and does not effectively summarize the main points. To improve, you should expand on your arguments with more specific details and ensure you meet the minimum length requirement to fully develop your ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some basic cohesive devices like 'To begin with', 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'Furthermore' to signal transitions. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the logical progression is hindered by grammatical errors. For example, the transition 'It has rocky landscape Therefore, transport may be the issue' lacks proper punctuation and connecting structure. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would help elevate your score in this criterion.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but remains quite basic. There are several instances of incorrect word choice or awkward phrasing, such as 'thriller experience' (should be 'thrilling'), 'habitant' (should be 'inhabitants' or 'culture'), and 'whether are not predictable' (should be 'weather is unpredictable'). Additionally, there are spelling errors like 'Morden' (modern) and 'neceassesary' (necessities). To achieve a higher band, you should focus on using more precise vocabulary and ensuring correct collocations, while also paying closer attention to spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. While there are attempts at complex sentences, they are often marred by grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'To visit Sahara desert has enormous benefits' (should be 'Visiting the Sahara desert has...'). There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence construction (e.g., 'every one prefer', 'people needs to walk'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and capitalization. To improve, you should practice constructing more complex sentences accurately and focus on basic grammatical rules like subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles.

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