Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.
What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The increasing number of international travellers is increasing currently view spots where situations are a liitle worse like sahara desert or antarctica. Although, it also has some advantages and disadvantages for these kind of places.
One of the main benefits of travelling in these places is to explore beyond nature, to learn the limitations of weather, challenge how to survive. For instance, some people like exploring, taking challenges during travel thats a best option for them. Moreover, if tourists attracts to these kind of places where generally people dont travel that will get publicity so it can attract more and more tourits because places like these are far from the normal cities so they also need money to manager the expenses to provide proper facilites to them. so they can raise more money.
Whereas, these places are very different as compared to normal tourists places because their temprature is harsh and changes suddenly . For example Sahara desert is too hot in the morning and at night its temprature quickly shifts in cold. So, its hard for travellers to adjust in these kind of environment because its very hard to predict what gonna happen next. Secondly, places like antartic are excessive cold. sometimes the temprature is so negative its hard to surivie. Last year a report was generated by BBC News said that 10 percent of tourist every year found cold skin burn due to that they got severe operations.
In the conclusion, more tourists are attrected to places like sahara and antarctica so they challenge themself becausse some like adventure and another reason is to raise money. whereas, its hard to survire at these places becaue eaither its too hot or too cold that a human body can hardly survive
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both the benefits and disadvantages of visiting extreme environments. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding 'publicity' and 'raising money' is unclear and lacks logical connection to the benefits for the tourist themselves. The conclusion summarizes the points but does not add depth. While all parts of the prompt are addressed, the explanation of the benefits is underdeveloped, and the reasoning is occasionally difficult to follow. To improve, you should focus on expanding your points with clearer, more logical explanations rather than just listing them.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, the transition 'Whereas' at the start of the third paragraph is used incorrectly to introduce a new point rather than a contrast to the previous one. Additionally, some sentences are disjointed, such as the final sentence of the second paragraph. The flow of ideas is sometimes interrupted by awkward phrasing, making the progression feel slightly repetitive. Using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring they are used in the correct context would significantly improve the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'view spots' instead of 'destinations' or 'tourist spots', and 'manager the expenses' instead of 'manage'. The phrase 'cold skin burn' is also an inaccurate collocation for frostbite. While you attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'Antarctica' and 'Sahara desert', the overall range is limited, and the repetition of basic words like 'places' and 'things' hinders the sophistication of the response. Expanding your vocabulary to include more precise academic terms would help elevate your score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('tourists attracts'), missing articles, and incorrect verb forms ('what gonna happen'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several run-on sentences and missing commas. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and ensuring correct tense usage would be a beneficial next step for your development.
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