Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.

What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It has been recently observed that, there has been an increase in the number of tourist exploring the difficult part of the world which has extreme climate situations, for example an ice cold continent as Antarctica or hot and dry Sahara deserts. In my opinion, this kinds of trends had more negative repercussions than a temporary pleasure of exploring. Below is my expression elaborated.

To begun with, This kinds of places are abandoned by the civilization, making it risky for life. these areas are developed enough to make it humanly possible for exploration and travel. For example, there was a person named Ron Johnson who went on a mountain climbing trip with his friends around 2012. During his hike, He tipped over a big stones and fell into a crack between the mountain, and stuck upside down. He loss his life tragically after bleeding for an hour. This was all over the News and people started being considerate for these kinds of things. parallelly, this kind of extreme passion for travel can put life at risk.

Moreover, It can disrupt a nature and some spices of life. Traveling to those places will require some sort of transportation, which is going to increase carbon emission to those places and that can lead to environmental issues. To illustrate, for going to Antarctica, big cruse ship will be required. And all the exhaust gases are going to be dump upon nature which can lead to harm towards nature.

On the flip side, exploring such a place can provide a different point of view for the people. Being grateful for the facilities provided in the urban areas.

To summarize, although a new perspective can be gained by traveling to such places over all It is disadvantageous to visit such sites, putting life at risk.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both the benefits and disadvantages, although the discussion of benefits is significantly underdeveloped compared to the disadvantages. The position is clear, but the development of ideas lacks depth. For instance, the benefit of 'gaining a different point of view' is mentioned in only two sentences, whereas the disadvantages are supported by a specific (though slightly anecdotal) example. To improve, you should provide more balanced coverage of both sides of the argument, ensuring that the benefits are explored with the same level of detail as the drawbacks. The conclusion effectively summarizes your stance, but the overall argument would benefit from more nuanced exploration of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'On the flip side' to signal shifts in your argument. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where referencing is unclear, such as 'This was all over the News'. Additionally, some sentences are disjointed, which affects the flow. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would help to achieve a higher band score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'repercussions', 'civilization', and 'carbon emission'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'spices of life' (likely meaning 'species'), 'big cruse ship' (spelling error), and 'dump upon nature'. These errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your meaning, but they do limit the precision of your writing. To improve, focus on learning collocations and checking the spelling of key vocabulary items. Expanding your range to include more precise, academic synonyms would also be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('This kinds of places'), article usage ('a nature'), and punctuation. For example, 'It has been recently observed that, there has been...' contains an unnecessary comma. While these errors rarely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic errors like pluralization and verb tense consistency, and try to incorporate more complex sentence structures with greater accuracy.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.