Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.

What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is argued that a number of visitors have been increasing to visit such places where situations are critical like Sahara desert or the Antarctic. The positives of this trend are they want to do more adventurous activities and confront challenges during their trip, whereas the negatives of that are risk of their life and there are many uncertainties.

On the one hand, people who love to do dangerous tasks, always prefer to visit places where severe conditions are existed. One of the prominent reasons is that they like to perform high-risk tasks to put themselves in difficult situations. This leads them to elevate themselves from their respective level of risk-taking capacity. Consequently, they can not only become confident, but also inspire others to visit such types of places. Moreover, by exploring such kinds of locations, they would have to face numerous problems during their journey which help them to boost their physical capacity. They can also improve their mental toughness which is directly beneficial to them to come out from difficult conditions. For instance, many youngsters love to visit uncommon places to set an example for others.

On the other hand, there are more chances for them to put their life at risk. This is to say that there is more probability to lose their valuable life while visiting such kinds of places. They directly put their life at survival mode and they may not see their family in the future. There is no guarantee whether they will come alive or not. Furthermore, in such spots, people have to pay too much amount of money which shows that it is not affordable for common public. There are also lack of basic needs such as food, water, oxygen level and other factors. Because of such scarcities, they can not survive and put themselves in uncertain situations. For example, many people have lost lost their life when they visited the Mount everest peak.

In conclusion, people should be more aware about where they visit the place as it has many dangerous factors, situations where they may lose their existence.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the benefits and disadvantages of visiting extreme locations. The ideas are relevant, such as personal growth and mental toughness for benefits, and safety risks and high costs for disadvantages. However, the development of these points is somewhat repetitive. For instance, the discussion on 'risk' and 'survival' appears in both the body paragraphs and the conclusion. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more specific, varied examples beyond just 'Mount Everest' and 'youngsters'. The position is clear, but the conclusion is brief and does not fully synthesize the main points discussed in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. You use cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'Moreover', and 'Consequently' to link ideas. However, some of these transitions feel mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'This is to say that there is more probability to lose their valuable life'. Additionally, some sentences within paragraphs lack smooth flow, making the progression of ideas feel a bit disjointed at times. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically builds upon the previous one would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'high-risk tasks', 'physical capacity', and 'scarcities'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'come alive' instead of 'survive', 'pay too much amount of money' instead of 'incur high costs', and 'lose their existence' instead of 'lose their lives'. These errors occasionally impede the natural flow of the text. Expanding your range of vocabulary and focusing on collocations—words that naturally go together—will help you achieve a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'conditions are existed' (passive voice error), 'there are lack of basic needs' (subject-verb agreement), and 'people should be more aware about where they visit the place' (preposition error). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but some phrasing is clunky. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and the correct use of passive voice. Increasing the frequency of error-free sentences will be key to moving into the 7.0 band range.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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