Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.

What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

At present, the ratio of visiting various places for experience by individuals have been increasing day by day. Several people prefer to take trips at harsh places where weather has been changing frequently. Although, it has many advantages such as people can experience thrill there, overcome their fear, it also has many disadvantages too. However, both aspects will explained in the following paragraphs.

To commence with, there are numerous merits of visiting those places where the weather conditions are not very well. Firstly, people can do thrill activities there which has not been experienced yet, at those places provide special activities there in a specific weather conditions. As a consequence, masses can not only face their fear but also get courage to do something new which allows them to take step further in life. To cite an example, a survey concluded that people used to enjoy diving in the water of Antarctica. Thus, it is clear that people get happiness while going some places where weather is not good.

Nevertheless, there are myriade demerits of going dangerous weather condition places. Fast and foremost, people might risk their lives because they are not used to that weather as well as any time weather can change and they do not proper precautions to control. Further, if peoples' body do not control the temperature, may be they become severely ill or death of risk. For example, In India, last year around 30 percent of youth take their lives in a risk, while they were climbing the Mount Everest. Hence, it is evident that harsh weather condition at some places adversely effect human.

In conclusion, it is reiterated that visiting places where weather usually change and become worst, however, it will allow individuals to experience fabulous experince to face their problems, it also has negative effects such as people have to srious illnes

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both the benefits and disadvantages of visiting harsh environments. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention 'thrill' and 'overcoming fear' as benefits, the explanation remains superficial. Similarly, the disadvantages regarding health risks are mentioned, but the supporting example about Mount Everest is factually confusing and lacks clarity. The conclusion is incomplete, as it cuts off mid-sentence, failing to provide a final summary of your position. To improve, ensure that each point is fully extended with clear, logical reasoning and that your conclusion provides a cohesive wrap-up of the main arguments presented in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Firstly', and 'Nevertheless'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'Fast and foremost' instead of 'First and foremost'. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, and the abrupt ending of the final paragraph significantly impacts the overall flow and coherence of the piece. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words more naturally and ensure that your paragraphs are fully developed and concluded.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on basic descriptors like 'not very well' or 'bad', and there are several instances of awkward word choices or incorrect collocations, such as 'myriade demerits' (myriad demerits) and 'srious illnes' (serious illness). Some phrases are repetitive, and the spelling errors (e.g., 'experince', 'srious') occasionally distract the reader. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'inhospitable environments', 'extreme weather conditions', or 'potential hazards', and pay closer attention to accurate spelling and word formation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the clarity of your writing. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the ratio... have been increasing'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'where weather has been changing frequently'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like verb tense consistency and pluralization before attempting more complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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