Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-06
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.
What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In this contemporary world, majority of individuals love to travel and visit places such as Sahara desert or the Antarctic. The main advantages for visiting such places are adventure and personal growth. However, the major drawbacks are weather and health challenges. I will discuss both in the upcoming paragraphs.
The primary benefit is adventure. Nowadays, Visitors do a lot of activities when they visit desert They are doing paragliding, river rafting and many more. By doing these kind of activities they feel self satisfied and confident, which help them for their personal growth. For example, In Canada, one of my friend recently visited Banff where he experienced with Gondola. Before trying this, he was very scared and not ready for this. As a result, he tackle his fear and make life long moments. Giving a opportunities for ourself make us feel proud.
On the other hand, people who enjoy travelling Sahara desert they must be prepare for weather conditions. This is because, on these places oxygen and carbon hydrate is very limited where visitors sometimes feel dehydration which directly impact on their health. For instance, a survey conducted by Times Now, which showed a tourist who have respiratory problem avoid to go Antarctic. Because they might face a heart stroke problem. Consequently, before going such adventure places must check weather conditions.
In conclusion, exploring adventure places make memorable moments and people feel motivated. Whereas, having in mind the weather is unpredictable and always be ready for dealing such kind of situations.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both the benefits and disadvantages of visiting extreme locations. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention adventure and personal growth, the explanation remains superficial. The example regarding Banff is slightly off-topic, as Banff is a popular tourist destination rather than an 'extreme' environment like the Sahara or Antarctica. Additionally, the discussion on health risks is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. To improve, ensure your examples directly relate to the specific environments mentioned in the prompt and provide more detailed reasoning for your points.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices such as 'However', 'On the other hand', and 'Consequently'. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and some transitions feel forced. For instance, the jump from discussing the Sahara to the Antarctic in the third paragraph is abrupt. Additionally, some referencing is unclear, such as 'these places' in the third paragraph. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between ideas will help elevate your score in this criterion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You use basic terms like 'do a lot of activities' and 'make life long moments', which are somewhat informal and imprecise. There are also some errors in word choice, such as 'oxygen and carbon hydrate' (likely meaning carbon dioxide) and 'heart stroke' (which is not a standard medical term). To improve, focus on learning topic-specific collocations and more sophisticated vocabulary related to travel and environmental challenges.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'majority of individuals love', 'tourist who have'), incorrect preposition usage (e.g., 'experienced with Gondola'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'before going such adventure places must check'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like articles and verb forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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