Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.

What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Here i would like to share my thoughts about visiting adventures places were folks like to visit

Moreover if we dig into the benefits of all this adventures things young generation want to take risk in life so they want visit dangerous places like Sahara desert and Antarctic. The benefit to explore place like this is we can do different kinds of stunts and put them on social media. Once goin to all this places people can go at any peak or high mountain. However if we do all this adventures thing it gives more courage to person. Doing this kinks of things it can help your friends to get motivated and its comes into there mind to do all this dangerous things. But my suggestion is always take precaution and first aid because it can be some times dangerous also.

Now the disadvantages of this place are, first thing tourist should keep a guide. People over age should not take any risk to go this kind of place reason some have high BP or heart problems. This can be very risky for them. It is not relevant for children reason its on high peek .

So lastly i would like to give my suggestion on this is there are different people around the world who like to take risk and some are still not ready. So as per my view its has both pons and cons for tourist. I would like to suggest that every tourist can go any places but with precaution.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both the benefits and disadvantages of visiting extreme locations. However, the development of ideas is limited and often superficial. For example, the benefit of 'stunts for social media' is a narrow perspective, and the explanation of 'courage' is underdeveloped. The disadvantages section mentions health risks and the need for a guide, but these points lack depth and specific examples. The position is clear, but the overall response lacks the necessary detail and academic tone required for a high-band score. To improve, you should expand on your points with more substantial reasoning and real-world examples.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inappropriate, such as the repetitive use of 'this' or 'it'. Transitions between sentences are often abrupt, making the flow of ideas feel disjointed. For instance, the jump from discussing social media to 'courage' lacks a smooth transition. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs is not well-managed. Improving the use of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'in contrast') would help create a more cohesive argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive. You frequently use simple words like 'things', 'places', and 'good/bad' concepts without using more precise terminology. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'adventures things' instead of 'adventurous activities' and 'its comes into there mind' instead of 'it encourages them'. The range of vocabulary is limited, and there are several spelling and grammatical errors that hinder the sophistication of the writing. To reach a higher band, you should focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary related to tourism and risk-taking.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ('its comes into there mind'), incorrect word forms ('adventures' instead of 'adventurous'), and punctuation issues. The sentence structures are mostly simple or contain errors when attempting complexity. For example, 'Doing this kinks of things it can help your friends' is grammatically incorrect and confusing. There is a lack of variety in sentence structure, and the frequent errors occasionally impede the reader's understanding. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like 'there/their' and pluralisation would be beneficial.

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