Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.

What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Exploring around the world provides immense cultural and life experiences. Nowadays many vacationer are preferring thrilling places like Sahara dessert or the Antarctic over the relaxing places like ocean. In the forthcoming paragraph, I shall discuss does it have more positive or negative.

Looking at the plus side, Since many decades visiting places meant relaxing places as parks or mountains, in order to burn out stress. But as generation passed the change in destination started to begin like in early 2000's, youth liked going to amusement park, racing and many more similar activities. Moving forward, GenZ are feeling bored doing this activities so they are trying to explore the land which involves certain adrenaline boost which ultimately leads to joy and excitement. For instance, recently one group of youth travelled amazon jungle and survived for a week. Travelling such places helps to overcome the fear and get motivated by accomplishing it especially with friends as it gives cherishing memory. Moreover, it makes person connect to nature as there is no concrete jungle.Furthermore, it teaches the local culture and traditions of that particular tribe habitating there.

On the other hand, to travel such places can be costly as they are explicit. To add on, it can be hectic procedure to get the permission to access some places like volcano eruption sites or extreme weather places. Also, it can turn-out to be life threatening as it involves certain degree of risks like climbing, wildlife and manymore. For example, last year a 20 year old drowned in the current of river while he was on the trip of such extreme trip of Crossing the Nile river through swimming.

In conclusion, I believe it has more advantages like getting over fear and learning way of life but it has disadvantages too such as, not pocket friendly.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the benefits and disadvantages of visiting extreme locations. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, while you mention 'overcoming fear' and 'connecting to nature', these points are not fully explored or supported with deep analysis. The introduction is slightly confusing, as it asks 'does it have more positive or negative' rather than stating your position clearly. To improve, ensure each body paragraph provides a more detailed explanation of the 'why' behind your points, rather than just listing them. The conclusion is brief and could be more robust by summarising the main arguments more effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'Looking at the plus side', 'Moving forward', and 'On the other hand' to transition between ideas. However, some of these transitions feel a bit mechanical or unnatural. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'the change in destination started to begin like in early 2000's', where the connection to the previous sentence is weak. Improving the flow between sentences by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring clear pronoun references would enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have an adequate range of vocabulary to convey your meaning, but there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors. For example, 'explicit' is used incorrectly to mean 'expensive', and 'habitating' should be 'inhabiting'. Phrases like 'concrete jungle' are used well, but other parts of the text suffer from repetitive or imprecise language, such as 'relaxing places' and 'doing this activities'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise vocabulary and ensuring that words are used in their correct context. Expanding your range of collocations will also help you express your ideas with more sophistication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'many vacationer are preferring'), incorrect article usage, and punctuation errors. Some sentences are also structurally awkward, such as 'I shall discuss does it have more positive or negative'. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction, consistent verb tenses, and proofreading for small errors like missing articles or pluralisation would significantly improve your score.

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