Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.
What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Nowadays, people are exploring the tourist places which are in extreme conditions, for instance, the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. This situation has few merits in terms of beautiful scenic views and breath-taking experience, yet it can even be disadvantageous as problems like serious injury or animal encounter could come up.
One of the best reasons to explore such places is to experience the uniqueness and the hype created on the social media platform. For example, the Mount Everest of India is well-know for it's height and tracking there in that high altitude is very difficult for any normal person. Although, to post a selfie from the top of the mountain is a trend among the youth. Several clubs have formed lately, which organize such trips and tracks around the globe. Those who are physically fit often travel to such locations to experience the nature and the wildlife, which are rare and could be in completely remote place.
However, the extremeness of such tourism may take your life. The Amazon, where the venomous and dangerous creatures live. Every year, hundreds of explorers goes there and news of their death telecasts on the television. People take decision on the basis of the adrenaline rush but they do not understand the risks behind the situations. Consequences can be fatal.
To conclude, many individuals are exploring the world and make records to step first time in that location. But, understanding the consequences and safe return is equally important.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both the benefits and disadvantages of extreme tourism, but the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention scenic views and social media trends as benefits, and safety risks as disadvantages, the arguments lack depth and specific supporting evidence. The essay is also slightly under the 250-word minimum requirement, which negatively impacts the overall task completion. To improve, you should expand on your points with more detailed explanations or concrete examples to ensure the response is fully developed and meets the length requirement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices like 'However' and 'To conclude' to transition between ideas. However, the progression of ideas within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, and the connection between sentences could be smoother. For example, the transition between the social media trend and the physical fitness requirement in the second paragraph is a bit abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would enhance the flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You have an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss the topic, using terms like 'extreme conditions', 'adrenaline rush', and 'fatal'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'tracking there' (should be 'trekking') and 'news of their death telecasts' (should be 'is broadcast'). Some phrasing is also slightly unnatural, such as 'make records to step first time'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive or slightly misused vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. Examples include 'it's height' (should be 'its'), 'explorers goes' (subject-verb agreement error), and 'take decision' (should be 'make decisions'). Additionally, there are minor punctuation and article usage issues. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of possessive pronouns versus contractions. Increasing the frequency of error-free complex sentences will help you achieve a higher band score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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