Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.

What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In today's world everyone from world want see unknown things which are located in remote areas such as Antarctic

people who want to see Antarctic which is not habitual for human without any boat and food and shelter supply you can't survive there because of the weather and animals which hunt you down and kill you on the spot.

However you can see animals which are rare to find. You can get to see blocks of ice which are melting and you can also get a deep dive into frozen water with expert that can be a very mesmerizing view to have.

but it totally depends on weather if it is bad you won't see this much of things which are located over there for example if there is snowing you won't see penguins who come on the surface to take sun rays.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 143 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas. While the prompt asks for both benefits and disadvantages, the response is underdeveloped. The discussion on disadvantages is limited to a brief mention of survival risks, and the benefits are described in a very simplistic manner. The ideas lack the necessary depth, examples, and logical extension required for a higher band score. To improve, you must expand on your arguments with specific details and ensure you meet the length requirement to allow for full development of your points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The essay lacks a clear structure. There is no introduction or conclusion, and the paragraphing is inconsistent and fragmented. While there is a basic attempt to use cohesive devices like 'However' and 'for example', the overall progression of ideas is disjointed. The sentences often feel like a list of points rather than a cohesive argument. To improve, you should organize your essay into a clear introduction, body paragraphs with topic sentences, and a conclusion. Use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, well-developed idea.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is very basic and repetitive. Phrases like 'see unknown things' and 'not habitual for human' are imprecise and unnatural. There is a lack of topic-specific vocabulary related to tourism or extreme environments. The word choice is often inaccurate, such as 'take sun rays' instead of 'bask in the sun'. To improve, you should focus on learning collocations and more sophisticated vocabulary related to the topic. Avoid using overly simple language and try to incorporate more precise terms to convey your ideas effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with article usage ('the Antarctic'), subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Many sentences are run-on or lack proper punctuation, such as 'people who want to see Antarctic which is not habitual for human without any boat and food and shelter supply you can't survive there'. The range of structures is limited, relying mostly on simple sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, including correct use of articles, prepositions, and punctuation. Practice writing complex sentences using subordinating conjunctions to improve your grammatical range.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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