Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.
What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Nowadays, tourist love to visit places where they feel places are more challenging. There are several places in the world which are quite difficult for visitors to reach. In the following paragraph, I will discuss benefits and disadvantages from tourists point of view.
On the one side, There are many advantages of visiting such places like antarctica and sahara desert. Individuals can measure their strength and power because there atmosphere is difficult to survive and very challenging. Those who visit there find extreme heat in desert and extreme cold in Antarctica. Tourist use their full capability and mind to survive there and they get out of the box experience out. They might feel that they can survive at any places without having all necessary things. For example, A person who successfully reach at the top of Mount Everest. He get appreciation from the world and experience something great things which might not experienced others.
On the other side, These places are also have very dangerous disadvantages and adverse effects on tourist. Not all tourist have enough strength and courage to visit those places. Without having enough physical capabilities if an individual go out such places, it will be very hard to survive or spend some time there for him. Tourist points like Sahara desert and Antarctica are having very bad weather, so for visitors it becomes worse and they might fall sick and in the worst case they experience death. For example, many individuals want to swim in Pacefic ocean. I read an article in which writer mentioned 5 tourist died while they did swimming activity in Pacefic ocean in year 2018.
In conclusion, all coins have two sides same for this as well. There are advantages of visiting such places where you can enjoy and experience something different than others and know your physical and mental strength. But, it also have demerits like tourists experience illness and lost their life.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both the benefits and disadvantages of visiting extreme locations. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention 'testing strength' and 'gaining experience,' these points are not fully explored or supported with deep analysis. The example of Mount Everest is relevant, but the explanation of why it is a benefit remains superficial. Similarly, the disadvantages are mentioned, but the argument could be strengthened by discussing the environmental impact or the burden on rescue services rather than just focusing on personal safety. To improve, aim to expand your supporting sentences with more detailed explanations of the 'why' and 'how' behind your points.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one side' and 'In conclusion' to signal shifts in the text. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and some transitions feel repetitive. For instance, the use of 'Tourist points like Sahara desert' is a bit awkward as a cohesive link. To reach a higher band, try to vary your linking words and ensure that the relationship between sentences is more fluid, rather than relying on standard, formulaic phrases at the start of every paragraph.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to communicate your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'extreme heat,' 'adverse effects,' and 'physical capabilities.' However, there are instances of word-choice errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'tourist love to visit' (should be 'tourists love') and 'get out of the box experience out.' These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your writing. To improve, focus on learning collocations and ensuring that you use words in their correct grammatical form.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('tourist love,' 'These places are also have') and article usage ('at the top of Mount Everest,' 'in year 2018'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some errors in capitalization and sentence structure. The frequency of these errors means that while the meaning is clear, the control over grammar is not consistent enough for a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and pluralization errors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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