Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.

What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Tourism is becoming a new hobby of peoples. Some people love to visit places really harsh weathers such as deserts of Sahara and the Antarctic. It has lots of pros like self growth and educational values While it's cons re like health and safety issues as well as high financial costs.

To begin with, the first merit to visit places like the Antarctic or Sahara desert is self growth because people learn new things by doing that. Therefore, they feel more confident and organized. Also, it give people chance to do more adventures activities. Moving further, visiting places like the Antarctic not only give individuals first hand knowledge but also give them the idea that in how hard weather our first nations survived.

On the other hand, the most common demerit of going places like Sahara desert is health and safety. To elaborate it, in extreme weather condition people are more likely to get dehydrated and unconsciousness. The survey conducted by University of America has shown that over 80% people got dehydrated when they visited places with really harsh weather. In addition, it is also so expensive to visit places like deserts and Antarctic because of there costs. It so so hard to go at places like these.

To conclude, although visiting Sahara desert or the Antarctic has range of advantages but it's disadvantages also can not be neglected. Therefore, folks should makes there choices wisely while planing to go there. It is as same as a coin has two sides.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both the benefits and disadvantages of visiting extreme environments. However, the development of ideas is limited. While you mention 'self-growth' and 'educational values', these points are not fully explored or supported with specific, convincing examples. The mention of a 'University of America' survey is a generic attempt at support that lacks credibility. To reach a higher band, you should provide more detailed explanations of how these experiences actually lead to personal development or why the financial costs are so prohibitive. The position is clear, but the overall depth of the argument is somewhat superficial, keeping this in the lower-mid range.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Moving further', and 'On the other hand' to signal transitions. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and the flow between sentences within paragraphs can be disjointed. For instance, the transition between the benefits of self-growth and the mention of 'first nations' is abrupt. Additionally, referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the vague use of 'there costs' and 'go at places like these'. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words would enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for a higher score. You rely on simple, repetitive phrasing such as 'places like these' and 'really harsh weather'. There are also noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'new hobby of peoples' (should be 'people') and 'adventures activities' (should be 'adventure activities'). While the meaning is clear, the lack of more sophisticated or topic-specific vocabulary limits the score. You should aim to incorporate more precise terminology related to tourism and environmental challenges to demonstrate a wider lexical range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('it give people', 'folks should makes'), incorrect preposition usage ('go at places'), and spelling/word-form errors ('there costs' instead of 'their costs'). While you attempt complex sentences, they are often marred by these slips. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that your use of pronouns and possessive adjectives is accurate. The errors do not completely impede communication, but they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score.

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