Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.

What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

People are fond of tourism and every year many individuals visit places abroad and in town. Today, many people visit places which has harsh conditions like desert or antartic regions. Extreme heat or cold conditions are sometimes too much for some individuals to tolerate and hence, this somehows proves to be torture on tourists affecting their physical health.

As a result of people visiting places like Sahara desert and, or Antartica some people face consequences like loss of breath, dehydration, nausea, weakness and many more. One should have strong immunity and endurance power in order to survive sudden change of temperature or altitude. People with risk of heart health, virtigo, B12 and various deficiencies should avoid risk to themselves by not visiting such places. To cite an example, my friend once visited Dubai Safari, and his vehicle was broken due to sand going inside the engine. Thus, they were stranded in the middle of hot scroching sand and no water, which resulted in dehaydration and he fainted.

On the other hand, people who have good physical health and are strong, can a have mudane feeling by visiting such places, as it is one of its own unique experience. Such unusual conditions are very different than the usual beaches, mountain or scenic places we visit.

To conclude, people visiting places with difficult conditions, like extreme heat or cold, and, or higher altitudes is not everyone's cup of tea and the experience has its one benefits and drawbacks. People with weak physical health should rather avoid visiting such places for their own betterment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the benefits and disadvantages of visiting extreme environments. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While the disadvantages are supported by specific health-related examples, the benefits are underdeveloped, relying on a vague description of a 'unique experience' and 'mundane feeling' (which seems to be a misuse of the word). The position is clear, but the argument lacks depth and nuance. To reach a higher band, you should expand on the benefits, perhaps discussing the psychological rewards or the educational value of such travel, and ensure that all points are fully explored rather than just mentioned.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. There is a basic attempt at using cohesive devices such as 'As a result of', 'On the other hand', and 'To conclude'. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the use of 'and, or' is awkward and repetitive. Referencing is generally clear, but the transition between the health risks and the personal anecdote about the Dubai Safari could be smoother. The structure is sufficient to follow the argument, but more sophisticated linking words would improve the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as using 'mundane' (which means boring) when you likely meant 'extraordinary' or 'memorable', and 'somehows' (a non-standard adverb). Spelling errors like 'antartic', 'scroching', and 'dehaydration' are present. While you attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'dehydration', 'immunity', and 'endurance', the overall range is limited. To improve, focus on using more precise adjectives and ensuring correct spelling of key terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('places which has harsh conditions') and awkward phrasing ('this somehows proves to be torture'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the use of commas and conjunctions is occasionally non-standard. While the errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and proofreading for basic grammatical slips to ensure the majority of your sentences are error-free.

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