Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.
What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
These days, people start exploring the places where wheather conditions are hard such as Shara desert of the the Antarctic. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.
To begin with, the first and foremost merit is creating employment for the locals. To explain it, when a group of people start visiting the unsaual locations, they have pay for various faclities such as using hotels and having their meals and so on, in order to, make their journey easy. In this way, they provide oppertunity to the people to work for them, in return they will pay them. For example, Andhra pardesh is state of India, where around 30 lakhs people go to the historic temple during summer. local's provide them ride to reach the temple by their personal vechiles and animals. The money the genrate by this, they will use it for whole year to fulfil their needs.
Moving toward the Demerit, it can take their lives.
To elaborate it, few individuals are not able to tolrate the harash condition of enviornment such as changing in diet and lower oxygen level at top of the hills so on. As well as, the way to reach dificult places is not convenient because sometime they have to climp the stones, which will not easy even, fewer people fallen from hight and died. For instance, a survey was conducted in Sahara desert in 2012, around 15% visitors died there due to the change in nature. So , visiting difficult places can take one's life.
To sum up, benefit of the exploring new place, it genrate souce of employment and drawback is weather conditions are not acceptable for some people.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses both the benefits and disadvantages of visiting extreme environments. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The example provided regarding Andhra Pradesh is not entirely relevant to the prompt, as it describes a religious pilgrimage rather than an extreme environment like the Sahara or Antarctica. Furthermore, the explanation of the disadvantages is brief and lacks depth. To improve, ensure that your examples directly relate to the specific context of the question and provide more detailed explanations for your arguments to fully satisfy the requirements of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'To explain it' and 'Moving toward the Demerit'. The transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt, and the referencing is occasionally unclear. While there is a logical progression, the lack of sophisticated linking words and the repetitive nature of some transitions limit the flow. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring they are used naturally would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'wheather', 'Shara', 'unsaual', 'faclities', 'oppertunity', 'vechiles', 'genrate', 'tolrate', 'harash', 'enviornment', 'climp'). These errors are noticeable and occasionally distract the reader. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, relying on basic terms rather than more precise or academic language. To reach a higher band, you should focus on improving your spelling accuracy and attempting to incorporate more sophisticated, topic-specific vocabulary related to tourism and extreme environments.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Issues include incorrect article usage ('the the Antarctic'), subject-verb agreement, and awkward phrasing ('the money the genrate by this'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma placement. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and sentence structure would be very beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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