Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.

What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In order to get work life balance, nowadays people are preferred to explore more popular places such as Sahara desert or the Antarctic. Travelling such challenging places will have benefits and detrimental effects for tourists and my forthcoming paragraphs will illustrate the same.

To begin with, visiting such places where condition to survive is more difficult will help individuals to understand their physical and mental capacities through which people can be more profound about their strength and weakness which can be helpful in future important decisions. Secondly, exploring such places will help people enhance their knowledge towards their respective country's history and culture which is the fundamental part of the country. In addition, through the increase of tourists, the financial economy of the specific area can get significant growth. For example, according to last survey which was published last summer about the tourism of Sahara desert where due to high number of tourists, the finance for local economy was grown up to 75% compare to past three years.

On the other hand, visiting such places where conditions are difficult to survive can affect on tourist's physical and mental health. For example, the lack of water at the Sahara desert can make people more dizzy and may create a risk of death. Additionally, nowadays the cost for the travel has became more expensive whereas travelling for such places can affect individual's financial condition and budget. To continue, places like popular desert and ocean are the extensive part of country's history and culture, where the increase ratio of tourists can contribute to pollution through their personal trash and garbage, which can decrease the beauty of such historical places.

To conclude, the increasing ratio of tourism for places like Sahara desert or the Antarctic can help to grow the financial economy for the local market, however people should be aware about their physical strength before visiting such places to have less detrimental effects.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the benefits and disadvantages of visiting extreme environments. The ideas are relevant, such as personal growth and economic impact as benefits, and health risks and environmental damage as disadvantages. However, the development of these points is somewhat superficial. For instance, the claim that visiting the Sahara helps one understand 'history and culture' is not clearly linked to the specific challenges of the environment. The example provided regarding the 75% economic growth is specific but lacks a clear source or context, making it feel slightly forced. To reach a higher band, you should ensure that your supporting arguments are more logically connected to the specific nature of 'difficult' conditions rather than general tourism.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. You use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Secondly', 'In addition', and 'On the other hand' to signal transitions between ideas. While the progression is generally logical, some transitions feel mechanical. For example, the link between the introduction and the first body paragraph is slightly abrupt. Additionally, the use of referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'illustrate the same', which is a bit formal and slightly unnatural in this context. Overall, the paragraphing is appropriate, and the information is easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'detrimental effects', 'physical and mental capacities', and 'financial economy'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors. For example, 'people are preferred to explore' should be 'people prefer to explore', and 'finance for local economy was grown up' is non-standard phrasing. You also use 'extensive part' when 'integral part' or 'significant aspect' would be more precise. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, the lack of precision and occasional misuse of collocations prevent a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('people are preferred'), article usage ('the Sahara desert' vs 'Sahara desert'), and prepositional errors ('affect on tourist's'). Furthermore, there are tense inconsistencies, such as 'has became' instead of 'has become'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common verb form errors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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