Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-04
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.
What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In modern era, people wants to explore variety of places such as Sahara desert or the Antarctic even though the acknowledge of difficult conditions are there. In this essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages and present it below.
One of the major advantages is people wants to explore new places, states, continents. They want to capture the memories. besides that everyone has a busy schedule. Therefore whenever they are getting a opportunity or holidays. They decide to go and explore the different conditions. For instance such as a viral video of penguins. everyone wants to watch them. how they survive and how they are mating, protect themselves from extinction.
One of the major disadvantages is it affects our health. A youngster can survive there because of the immunity, a good fitness level, heart health. But it is difficult for children and elderly people who are suffering from many health issues such as respiratory, cardiovascular, heart related problems. surviving rate is very low for them. Because there is so much snow. One survey was conducted in 2019 where people were suffering from so many injuries and many people suffering from cold. many were died there. Government protect families but many were died.
In conclusion, In my opinion I totally believe there are many other states such as Jammu, Kashmir, Manali, Shimla we can go there and enjoy with our families, relatives, friends. even though we know about the conditions but we risk our lives. Government must take action and spread awareness among youngsters.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both the benefits and disadvantages of visiting extreme environments. However, the development of ideas is limited. The benefits section focuses primarily on the desire to explore and capture memories, but it lacks depth and specific examples related to the 'extreme' nature of the locations. The disadvantages section is more developed, discussing health risks for vulnerable groups, though the argument is somewhat repetitive. The conclusion introduces new, irrelevant information about local travel destinations (Jammu, Kashmir, etc.) rather than summarizing the main points of the prompt. To improve, ensure that every paragraph directly supports the prompt's focus on extreme tourism and avoid introducing unrelated topics in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is frequently interrupted by disjointed sentences and awkward transitions. For example, the transition 'besides that everyone has a busy schedule' does not logically connect to the previous sentence about capturing memories. Cohesive devices are used in a mechanical and sometimes incorrect way, such as the repetitive use of 'one of the major...' to start paragraphs. Referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the paragraph regarding health risks, where the connection between the survey mentioned and the general argument is weak. Paragraphing is present but the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks a clear progression of ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive, which restricts the ability to convey more complex ideas. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'the acknowledge of difficult conditions' (should be 'acknowledgment') and 'many were died' (should be 'many died'). The range is sufficient for basic communication but lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. The student relies on simple, everyday language and struggles to incorporate more sophisticated or topic-specific terminology related to tourism or environmental challenges. To improve, focus on learning collocations and ensuring that words are used in their correct grammatical form.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's understanding. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'people wants' instead of 'people want', and 'Government protect' instead of 'Governments protect'. Sentence structures are predominantly simple, and attempts at complex sentences often contain errors, such as 'In this essay will discuss' (missing subject). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several sentence fragments and run-on sentences. While the meaning is generally discernible, the high frequency of basic errors in tense, agreement, and sentence construction prevents the response from reaching a higher band.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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