Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.

What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent decads, a huge amount of tourist are visiting places where conditions are harsh has increasingly common in many parts of the world. This development has both advantages and disadvantages, which will be discussed in this essay.

One of the main advantages of visiting difficult condition places is that people could find new ways of living there and experiment different thoughts to make that environment better like grow trees with different methods. If that works, individuals or wildlife who is living there, they can live better life. For instance, one of the big desert in Rajsthan where it was very difficult to live before 2 decads and now visitors finds different technics to grow trees in that area and fulfill the water shortage problem.

However, there are also some disadvantages associated with tourism in those unusual visiting area. The most significnt drawback is that some tourist are throwing food packets waater bottles and doing activities which are not appropriate for the special wildlife which is living in those places. As a result, government report show that a huge amount of animals and birds are currently living in endangered line. For example, antarctic islands' some species are endangered because they are consuming tourist waste as a source of food.

In conclusion, although tourism in places wher conditions are harsh may lead some drawbacks, the developments of those area are more significant. environment protection should tae precendence.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both the benefits and disadvantages of tourism in harsh environments. However, the essay fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which negatively impacts the development of ideas. While the points regarding environmental impact and potential ecological improvements are relevant, they are under-developed. The conclusion is also somewhat contradictory, as it mentions that the 'developments of those area are more significant' without having clearly argued that point in the body paragraphs. To improve, you should expand on your examples and ensure your position is clearly supported throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'One of the main advantages', 'However', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, the flow is sometimes hindered by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'the developments of those area are more significant'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the transition between ideas could be smoother. To achieve a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several spelling errors, such as 'decads', 'waater', 'significnt', 'tae', and 'precendence'. Additionally, some word choices are unnatural, such as 'difficult condition places' and 'endangered line'. While the meaning is generally clear, the limited range of vocabulary and frequent spelling mistakes prevent a higher score. You should focus on learning collocations and proofreading your work to correct basic spelling errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('a huge amount of tourist are visiting', 'wildlife who is living'), incorrect verb tenses ('visitors finds'), and missing articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with commas. While the meaning is usually understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar structures limits the score. You should work on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage to improve your accuracy.

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