Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.

What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent times, a number of tourists are visiting places where the environment is pretty hard, for instance, Sahara Desert or the Antarctic. The reason behind this is because these extremely harsh places contribute to millions of followers. Although, visiting to these areas, tourists can be benefited with followers and become well known, but there are also some demerits of going to Shara Desert or the Antarctic like safety issue or health issue.

It has become a trend, visiting extremely harsh weather places for people. In the starting, tourists used to explore Sahara Desert or the Antarctic for adventure or to find their self, or to rejuvenate. However, because the social media trend, these places contributed to making people careers. People are becoming famous via posting videos and images of themselves in this kind of harsh places, more and more individuals are become famous which help them to earn money and provide chances to get introduced on well-known platforms, for example, in reality shows. According to an interview, In this year, all the contestants who did the reality shows are mostly famous tourist who got well-known because they have visited on extreme places.

On the other hand, there are various disadvantages of visiting to extreme hot or cold environmental places. The one is health issues. In last years, it has been found that people who never took safety seriously and without full knowledge went on these places end up severe diseases such as, pneumonia or diarrhea. All this is happening because people just want to get famous and do not acknowledge that there are some factors related to safety and health that should be considered, for example, precautions, medicines, and proper clothing.

To conclude, more and more people especially tourists are going to places where they find extreme weathers such as cold and hot weathers. They visit there in order to become famous. Where they get benefited with name and fame. However, because of the lack of safety or knowledge regarding the survival of their selves most of them end up with health issues.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the benefits (getting famous, making careers via social media, earning money) and disadvantages (safety issues, health risks like pneumonia or diarrhea) of visiting extreme environments such as the Sahara Desert or the Antarctic. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. However, the development of ideas relies heavily on a single main angle—social media fame and career building—rather than exploring a wider variety of benefits like personal achievement or scientific curiosity. Furthermore, some supporting examples are generalized or vague, such as 'According to an interview, In this year, all the contestants who did the reality shows are mostly famous tourist.' Despite these limitations, all parts of the task are addressed, placing the response solidly in Band 6.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay is divided into four paragraphs, including an introduction and a conclusion, showing an overall logical arrangement. Progression is attempted through transitional markers like 'Although', 'However', and 'On the other hand'. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical and faulty. For instance, the phrase 'In the starting' is unnatural, and referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in 'this kind of harsh places'. Paragraphing is utilized, but the internal flow within paragraphs can be disjointed due to repetitive phrasing and abrupt transitions. Overall, the organizational structure meets the requirements for a Band 6 score, as there is a clear overall progression despite clumsy cohesive devices.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common terms such as 'rejuvenate', 'demerits', and 'precautions'. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and spelling throughout the essay. Examples include 'pretty hard' instead of harsh, 'Shara Desert' (spelling error), 'find their self' (reflexive pronoun error), and 'extreme weathers'. Additionally, word forms are occasionally misused, such as 'become famous' instead of becoming famous. While these lexical errors and limitations do not impede communication, they prevent the vocabulary from reaching a Band 7 level, fitting comfortably within Band 5.5 or rounded to Band 6 for adequate task coverage.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and conditional structures. However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. Frequent errors are present, including subject-verb agreement issues ('more and more individuals are become famous'), prepositional errors ('visiting to these areas'), and awkward phrasing ('the survival of their selves'). Punctuation is also problematic in places, such as comma splices and capitalization errors ('Shara Desert'). Although these errors occasionally cause the reader to pause, they rarely completely impede communication. The combination of attempted complex structures with persistent mechanical errors reflects the descriptors for Band 5.

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