Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.

What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the present time, the majority of tourists are visting places where conditions are harsh, such as Sahara desert and Antarctic. Although visting these famous tourist spots offer significant advantages. However, visiting such places can have many detrimental effects on our jorney and health. Let us examine both perspectives in the following paragraphs with some relevant examples.

To begin with, this paragraph sheds light on the favourable consequences and benefits associated with such places. First and foremost, visiting these tourist attractions provided us with coherent information about necessary survival skills. To clarify, when tourists come in contact with locals, they observe thier lifestyle and techniques to lead a decent life without utilizing modern technology. In addition, visitors gain thier knowledge about the place's history, culture, food and geography. For example, Bear Grylls in his famous survivor show Man vs wild, visited Sahara desert and Antarctic region and bear difficult weather conditions, and he provided an extensive amount of knowledge to general people which encouraged them to experience these unusual but exquisite locations.

On the other hand, this paragraph focuses on the negative repercussions and drawbacks of visiting Sahara and Antarctic. The first disadvantage of going to these tourist spots is that these regions are not equipped with modern facilities and advanced technology. To illustrate, the internet and supplly of goods are very limited. If an individual is lost in the deserted area where internet range is extremely low, and there is no food or water to drink, it will have detrimental impact on a person's health and mental state. Moreover, not all people can bear the extreme coldness or hotness of these locations. In Antarctic region, the temperature can drop to -50°celsius. Consequently, the temperature level in Sahara can raise upto 55°celsius, these severe weather conditions can have conspicuous adverse effects on people's health, and it might take several days for them to recover completely.

To encapsulate, it can be concluded that, though visting these famous attractions offers tourists with abundant knowledge of resident's lifestyle and personal survival techniques. However, without adequate knowledge of these places can lead to harmful effects on people's health, and there will not be enough sources to tackle such unforeseen circumstances. So, I firmly believe that

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response successfully addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both the benefits and disadvantages of visiting harsh tourist destinations like the Sahara and the Antarctic. Your position is generally clear throughout the essay. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others, which places your task response in the middle range. For instance, while the benefits regarding survival skills and learning local cultures are introduced, the explanation tends to generalise rather than fully extend every point. Your example of Bear Grylls is relevant, but further elaboration on how everyday tourists specifically benefit from this would strengthen the argument. To move towards higher bands, ensure that all supporting examples are fully fleshed out and connected directly back to the main prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear progression of ideas from introduction to body paragraphs and a concluding summary. Paragraphing is used appropriately, with distinct sections for the introduction, benefits, drawbacks, and a partial conclusion. Cohesive devices are employed to guide the reader, such as 'To begin with', 'First and foremost', and 'On the other hand'. However, the cohesion can sometimes feel a bit mechanical or formulaic, and referencing is occasionally slightly repetitive in structure. Additionally, the final sentence is incomplete, which disrupts the logical flow at the very end of the text. To reach higher bands, you should aim for smoother, more natural transitions between sentences and ensure all paragraphs are fully completed.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

An adequate range of vocabulary is deployed for the task, allowing you to successfully communicate your ideas about extreme tourism. You attempt less common vocabulary items such as 'detrimental effects', 'repercussions', and 'unforeseen circumstances', which shows a good effort to elevate your style. However, there are some noticeable word choice, spelling, and word form errors throughout the text, such as 'visting' instead of visiting, 'jnorney' instead of journey, 'thier' instead of their, and 'supplly' instead of supply. These inaccuracies do not seriously impede communication, but they prevent you from achieving a higher band. To improve, pay closer attention to spelling and ensure that words are used with accurate collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures like conditional and relative clauses. There are, however, some recurring errors in grammar and punctuation, particularly involving subject-verb agreement and prepositional patterns, such as 'tourist attractions provided us' instead of provide, and 'gain thier knowledge about the place's history'. There are also occasional fragments or run-on structures, such as starting a sentence with 'Although visting these famous tourist spots offer significant advantages. However...' which creates a sentence boundary error. Despite these errors, they rarely impede communication. To move up to higher bands, you need to produce a higher frequency of error-free complex sentences and maintain strict control over tense consistency and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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