Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.
What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Travelling has become a popular activity among the tourists, nowadays. It has been noticed that people like to explore those destinations where they experience hard conditions such as Sahara desert and Antarctic. This essay will explain pros and drawbacks of travelling in such destinations, and supporting with relevant real life examples.
To begin with the advantages, tourist attractions such as Sahara desert and Antarctic give an unusual experience because of their different weather conditions. People who want to travel somewhere with difficult weather conditions prefer such places because they want to learn how people live in those hard conditions and what unique sources they use as a part of their survival. For example, in Sahara desert, camel is known as a desert king. This animal is the main source of commuting for locals because motor vehicles and other sophisticated equipments are not suitable enough to commute there.
Regarding the drawbacks, as these places have different temperature from rest part of the world, it could affect traveller’s health. Every human body has different capability to survive in different environments and some could get serious diseases due to sudden weather changes. For instance, as Antarctic’s temperature is extremely low, people with weak immune system cannot survive there. They could be affected with severe disease such as typhoid.
By considering the given aforementioned facts, it can never be denied that travelling in places where conditions are difficult gives an unusual experience. Some people enjoy and learn unique facts around the world, while some might have bad experiences by damaging there health.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of visiting difficult environments such as the Sahara desert and the Antarctic. A clear position is presented from the introduction and maintained throughout the essay. However, some ideas remain under-developed. For instance, while the advantage of experiencing unusual weather is introduced, the explanation relies on a basic example about camels rather than exploring broader psychological or educational benefits. Similarly, the health drawback mentions potential risks like typhoid linked to the Antarctic, but this supporting detail is factually weak and lacks deeper elaboration. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to extend and fully develop all supporting ideas with more convincing and thoroughly explained examples.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression from the introduction to the body paragraphs and conclusion. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, starting with advantages and moving on to disadvantages. Cohesive devices are employed to guide the reader through the text, such as 'To begin with the advantages' and 'Regarding the drawbacks'. However, referencing and cohesion are occasionally mechanical or slightly faulty, such as the awkward transition 'and supporting with relevant real life examples' in the introduction. The half-band achievement reflects a largely logical structure that successfully guides the reader, though smoother transitions and more flexible, less formulaic cohesive devices are needed to achieve full mastery of higher band requirements.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for completing the task, attempting some less common lexical items such as 'sophisticated equipments', 'immune system', and 'unusual experience'. However, there are notable limitations and inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and word form. For example, the phrase 'rest part of the world' should be 'the rest of the world', 'equipments' is incorrectly used as a plural countable noun, and the conclusion contains a collocation error with 'damaging there health' instead of 'their health'. Additionally, spelling and word-form errors like 'camel is known as a desert king' rather than 'the desert king' indicate that lexical control is restricted, placing the response firmly in the middle band range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
The response exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating a reasonable attempt at subordination and relative clauses. There are control issues with articles, prepositions, and verb patterns, such as omitting necessary articles ('in Sahara desert' instead of 'in the Sahara desert', 'in Antarctic' instead of in 'the Antarctic') and minor prepositional inaccuracies. However, these grammatical errors are relatively minor and rarely impede overall communication. The writer successfully structures compound and complex sentences like 'People who want to travel somewhere with difficult weather conditions prefer such places because they want to learn...' This combination of a mixed structural range with occasional non-impeding errors aligns well with the criteria.
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