Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.

What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In contemporary times, tourists tranportation has been proliferating over the past few decades. The most prefered places choosed by visiters nowadays are, the Sahara desert or the Antartic, where weather conditions are difficult to live. This essay will examine both merits and demerits for people who visit there, which will be disccused in the ensuing paragraphs.

To commence with, there are positive aspects of visiting such places. Firstly, tourists may get unique experience and adventure. They can experience extream enviornments that are completely different from their daily lives. As a consequances, they can create unforgettable memories and a sense of achievement. For insatnce, a potential number of tourists from across the world, visiting Antartica where they can see vast ice landscapes and wildlife in its natural enviornment. Additionally, they visit there for learning purpose, as such a trip teach tourists about climate and survival in challenging conditions.

In contrasts, there are fewer drawback of visiting places like this, which is inevitable. This can turn into health and saftey risks. Extreame tempratures can cause serious problems for inexperienced visitors. They may be limited medical facilities in remote areas. To cite an example, a tourists travelling in Sahara desert could become dehydrated because of weather condition which the opposite of their own country.

On a concluding note, by visiting places where weather conditions are difficult for inexperienced people, can have some demerits such as the issues related health and safety. However, This have positive side as well. visiters can gain new experience and learn about the survivals there.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the benefits and disadvantages of visiting difficult environments such as the Sahara desert and the Antarctic. There is a clear overall stance, and relevant ideas are presented, such as gaining unique experiences, learning about survival, and facing health and safety risks. However, some ideas remain under-developed or lack full extension. For instance, the point about learning about climate and survival is introduced in the second body paragraph but is not fully elaborated with specific supporting details. Similarly, the conclusion briefly touches upon points without adding deeper analysis. To move to a higher level, the writer needs to ensure that every main idea is thoroughly explained and supported with more specific, well-developed examples throughout the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs addressing merits and demerits, and a concluding paragraph. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different aspects of the topic. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. For example, transitional phrases like 'To commence with', 'In contrasts', and 'On a concluding note' feel slightly formulaic. Furthermore, referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'They may be limited medical facilities', where the pronoun linkage and logical flow between sentences could be smoother. To achieve a higher score, the writer should employ a wider and more natural range of cohesive devices and ensure that logical relationships between sentences are consistently clear and unobtrusive.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The writer demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range to convey the main arguments about tourism in challenging environments, attempting less common vocabulary such as 'proliferating', 'unforgettable memories', and 'dehydrated'. Nevertheless, there are noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and word form that stem from attempts at more advanced items. Examples include 'tranportation' instead of 'transport', 'prefered' instead of 'preferred', 'choosed' instead of 'chosen', 'visiters' instead of 'visitors', 'extream' instead of 'extreme', 'enviornments' instead of 'environments', 'consequances' instead of 'consequences', 'insatnce' instead of 'instance', 'tempratures' instead of 'temperatures', and 'survivals' instead of 'survival'. While these errors do not seriously impede communication, their frequency prevents the response from achieving a higher lexical band. Improving spelling and accuracy in word forms will greatly strengthen this area.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at subordination and relative clauses. There are some correct sentence structures, but the text contains a noticeable number of grammatical errors and punctuation lapses. Examples of errors include subject-verb agreement and article usage issues, such as 'tourists tranportation' instead of 'tourist transportation', 'They may be limited medical facilities' instead of 'There may be limited medical facilities', 'a tourists travelling' instead of 'a tourist travelling', and 'weather condition which the opposite' where a verb is missing. Additionally, sentence boundaries and commas are occasionally misused, as seen in 'The most prefered places choosed by visiters nowadays are, the Sahara desert...'. These errors require some effort to decode at times, placing the grammatical control at this specific level. A wider variety of error-free complex structures and closer attention to basic grammatical patterns will elevate this score.

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