Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.

What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Visiting place is fun whether your are kid or a Mature person.It good for your health like mental, Physical.

Sahara desert is one the biggest desert in the world many people come this place for visit to fulfil thier dream. Sahara desert is the place where in the day the temperature goes upto 50C degree. but in the night it drops and recorded to negative temperature.and there is no source of water nearby. it is very rare to see a person. Tree cann't be grow in this desert because of the soil. There is no shadow that a person could sit there.Only a plantation of cactus full of big spikes that could be dangerous for human life.

Advantages:

For the Tourist there are advantage to experience that there is also another world without social media. There are some tour guider that they can give you full tourguide.In the social media

For example:

I have seen some footage of camel riding you can ride the camel and can make the memorable moment

Disadvantages:

There are number of cons that can cause to the life of human.

No food ,No water, No shelter.

for example:

there is a man name Rovan a marathon Runner take a challenge to start running from one end to another end of sahara desert. and there are also many other runner who join with rovan and after the 1 hour of running rovan got lost in the desest for 1 month when he was found he told that eat lizzard, rat snake alive and drink his own urine for survival.

so there are disadvantage that also cause your life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both benefits and disadvantages and use the Sahara as a relevant example. The possible benefits include experiencing a place without social media and riding a camel, while the risks include lack of food, water and shelter. However, the response only partially develops the task: the benefits are brief and not clearly explained, and much of the description of desert conditions does not directly show what tourists gain or lose. The story about Rovan is vivid, but its connection to ordinary tourists is not made clear, and the claim about surviving for a month needs explanation or support. Develop each side with a clear reason and a specific link to tourists’ experiences, such as adventure and cultural learning versus heat, isolation and safety risks.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The headings “Advantages” and “Disadvantages” make the two sides easy to identify, and the response moves from general context to examples. However, ideas are not arranged in a consistently logical progression. The opening comments about health are not connected to the later discussion, and the long description of the Sahara interrupts the focus on benefits and drawbacks. Some links are unclear or mechanical, such as “For example” followed by a fragment and “so there are disadvantage.” Paragraphing is also uneven, with the social-media point split across lines and the example presented separately without a clear explanation. Organise the essay into a focused introduction, one paragraph for benefits and one for risks, then a brief conclusion; use clear links to show how each example supports its point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “temperature,” “source of water,” “camel riding,” “shelter” and “survival,” which helps communicate the setting and risks. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “memorable moment.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms are inaccurate or repetitive, sometimes making the meaning harder to follow: “tour guider,” “full tourguide,” “plantation of cactus,” and “cause to the life of human” are not natural expressions. Spelling errors such as “thier,” “desest” and “lizzard” also reduce clarity. Build a more precise set of phrases for tourism and hazards, and check spelling and collocations so that your ideas sound natural and exact.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response communicates its main points through mostly simple sentences and makes some attempts to combine ideas, for example, “Sahara desert is the place where in the day the temperature goes upto 50C degree.” However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and errors are frequent enough to interrupt reading. Examples include missing or incorrect articles and agreement in “Visiting place is fun” and “It good for your health,” as well as faulty sentence boundaries in “...negative temperature.and there is no source of water nearby.” The sentence about the runners also shifts awkwardly between tenses and clauses. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add controlled relative clauses and cause-and-effect structures. Check articles, subject–verb agreement, verb forms, capitalisation and punctuation when editing.

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