Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.

What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the contemporary world, tourism in dangerous parts of the world has become increasingly popular worldwide. Although this trend may involve certain advantages, I firmly believe that its drawbacks are considerably greater than its benefits. This essay will examine both the merits and demerits before explaining reasons for the significance of negative aspects.

There are numerous demerits associated with visiting dangerous parts of the world, like the Sahara Desert or the Antarctic. One of the notable disadvantages is that it badly affects an individual's health. The paramount reason for this is that some essential sources may not be available and extreme weather conditions may affect them. For instance, water and basic food might not be available in such types of places. Consequently, it reduces the survival ease of visitors.

Another acceptable disadvantage is that it creates an unforeseeable financial burden on the person. This is because basic needful things are available only at a high rate. Moreover, transportation cost would be increased if someone wants to travel from one place to another. This is due to the fact that construction of roads and providing fuel are more expensive there.

On the contrary, there are some advantages to staying at adventurious places. One major advantage is that an individual can learn how to survive in the toughest situation. This occurs because many people want to do something extraordinary in their life, which may lead to encouraging people to visit those types of locations. Nevertheless, this issue is relatively minor compared with significant demerits.

In conclusion, while spending time in a difficult area would give more opportunity to enhance skills, I firmly believe that disadvantages outweigh advantages. Not only affecting an individual's health, but also raising financial concerns.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both benefits and disadvantages and make your position clear: you believe the drawbacks outweigh the benefits. The health and financial risks are relevant, and the example of limited water and food helps explain the first point. However, the benefits are treated much less fully: learning survival skills is mentioned, but not illustrated or explained in comparable detail. Some claims about costs, such as road construction and fuel, are not clearly connected to what tourists themselves would pay. To strengthen the response, develop each main idea with a specific example and explain its direct effect on visitors, while keeping the comparison between benefits and disadvantages explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for disadvantages and advantages, and a conclusion. The progression is easy to follow, and signposts such as “For instance,” “Moreover,” and “On the contrary” help show relationships between ideas. This gives the essay a coherent arrangement. Some linking is nevertheless mechanical or imprecise: “On the contrary” suggests a direct contradiction, whereas the paragraph simply introduces benefits, and “This issue” does not clearly identify which point it refers to. The final sentence is also a fragment, so the conclusion does not finish as smoothly as the rest. Use more precise referencing and connect the concluding points in a complete sentence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic-related vocabulary, including “extreme weather conditions,” “financial burden,” “survival,” and “transportation.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and some less common expressions show an attempt to be precise. However, several word choices and collocations are unnatural or inaccurate, which limits clarity and flexibility. Examples include “survival ease,” “basic needful things,” and “adventurious places”; “paramount reason” also sounds overstated in context. There is some repetition of “dangerous parts of the world” and “places.” Aim for natural collocations and accurate word forms, and vary references to remote or extreme destinations without using awkward substitutes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in the opening (“Although this trend may involve…”) and a reason clause beginning “This is because…”. Most sentences convey their intended meaning, and errors do not generally prevent understanding. Some grammatical problems remain, particularly in the conclusion: “Not only affecting an individual's health, but also raising financial concerns” is a fragment rather than a complete sentence. The construction “which may lead to encouraging people” is also awkward and structurally unclear. Work on making dependent clauses complete and checking how clauses connect; for example, combine the final fragment with the preceding sentence using a clear subject and verb.

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