Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.

What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Without any suspicion, nowadays most of the visitors of the world prefer to stay in unique places while travelling such as Sahara desert, Antartica.This essay will examine preponderant merits and demerits were more closely.

To begin with,it is going without saying that many of people in some countries are more excited to live in specific areas.That is to say,it is,in fact, obvious that numerous travellers usually choose different places to stay so they get a range of good views and after see nice scenes they feel good and get positive vibes.To quote an instance, A few months ago in South Pole area of the earth a group of several members stay in Antartica's island and put a camp with a circle of friends after that they will experience new things such as beautiful scenery it's climate and make memorable memories forever,and therefore; After visiting places like Antartica Most of the human beings get unique experience and watch some kinds of different things like area's weather, animals, mountains and they will also learn adaptation process to live his life in unknown places.

On the other hand, Numerous humanity of several countries excited to visit new places and sometimes they will face some problems like food, desired resources,bad weather etc but majorly society fight with threat of weather. In other words, Almost most of Public face the issue of bad weather while travelling and decides to stay in area and sometimes the temperature of that area is high so weather is changed into normal to hit and humid or cold and with these people suffers these kinds of challenges.For example, I remember that when i saw the news of Shahara desert on Tv News channel news reporter told that while visiting the desert many of the people was sick with illness or fever and a few individuals were died to stay in very hot and humid climate of that region,and thereby; most of mankinds were to face difficulties at a tourist place.

To sum up numerous factors, However,I pen down saying that I think all citizens of a nations tried to believes first about his safety before going to any destination and go only safe places where there is no danger or threat.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses both sides of the question: it presents positive experiences such as scenery, wildlife and learning to adapt, then discusses risks involving food, resources and extreme weather. The conclusion also gives a relevant safety-focused view. However, the benefits are mostly described generally, and the example of a group camping in Antarctica is difficult to follow and does not clearly explain the benefit to tourists. The disadvantages focus mainly on weather and illness, with little development of other relevant risks, such as isolation or limited access to medical help. The position is present but not consistently clear. Develop fewer points with specific explanations and examples, and make the link between each example and the question explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for benefits and disadvantages, and a concluding statement. Transitions such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand,” and “To sum up” help signal the stages of the response. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow because several ideas are joined into long, crowded sentences. For example, the Antarctica example moves from camping to scenery, climate, memories and adaptation without clear sequencing. Linking phrases such as “That is to say” and “In other words” are also repeated or introduce ideas that largely restate the previous point. Use shorter units, organise each paragraph around one main idea, and make references between sentences clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response attempts a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “scenery,” “resources,” “climate,” “adaptation,” and “threat,” and it communicates the general subject of difficult destinations. However, the range is limited by frequent inaccurate or unnatural word choices and collocations, which sometimes make meaning hard to interpret. Phrases such as “preponderant merits and demerits,” “positive vibes,” “numerous humanity,” and “normal to hit and humid” are not appropriate or clear in context. There are also spelling and form errors, including “Antartica” and “Shahara.” Aim for precise, natural expressions rather than overly formal or vague wording, and check spelling of place names and common topic vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

There are attempts to use complex sentences and subordinate clauses, for example “while travelling” and “so they get a range of good views,” but these structures are often faulty or difficult to follow. Errors occur frequently in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence boundaries: “a group … stay,” “many of the people was sick,” and “a few individuals were died” are examples. Some sentences run together, particularly the long account of the Antarctica visit, and punctuation around clauses is inconsistent. These problems can make the reader work to understand the intended meaning. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with one clear subordinate clause; check subject–verb agreement and past-tense forms during revision.

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