Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.

What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It is an ongoing debate that nowadays, it has become very common for individuals to visit different endager places where conditions are not not undercontrol such as Sahara desert or the Atlantic. In my essay, i will elucidate both advantages and disadvantages of visiting such places.

On of the benefits of visiting Sahara and Atlantic ocean involves adventurous journey which contains different adventure, to explore a new place, to collect knowledge and to enjoy through out their whole journey. Although both of these places are extremely hard to survive people still go there as these places facilitate with different types of activities many indiviuual can have a chance to take camel rides

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies the topic and begins to discuss a benefit: visiting remote environments can offer adventure, exploration, and learning. However, it does not address both parts of the question: no disadvantages are explained, and the benefit is only briefly listed rather than supported with reasons or an example. The opening also refers to the “Atlantic,” whereas the prompt gives the Antarctic as an example, which weakens the focus on the task. The response is substantially below the required minimum of 250 words, so there is not enough development to fulfil the task. To improve, explain at least one benefit and one disadvantage in detail, support each with a relevant example, and state a clear overall view if appropriate.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an introductory sentence announces that both advantages and disadvantages will be discussed, followed by a paragraph beginning with a benefit. The linking word “Although” also signals a contrast. However, the promised discussion of disadvantages never appears, and the ideas in the benefit paragraph are crowded together without a clear sequence or development. The final phrase about camel rides is unfinished, so the response lacks a complete ending and the reader cannot see how the point concludes. Build separate paragraphs for benefits and disadvantages, use clear topic sentences, and connect each explanation to a specific example. This would create a more complete progression rather than a brief list of ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “adventurous journey,” “explore,” “collect knowledge,” and “survive.” These choices show an attempt to discuss the appeal of challenging destinations. However, the range is limited, and several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “endager places,” “not undercontrol,” and “facilitate with different types of activities.” Spelling errors, including “endager” and “indiviuual,” also reduce clarity. Aim for precise collocations and a wider set of terms for both benefits and risks, such as remote environments, physical challenges, safety hazards, and environmental impact. Check spelling and word forms carefully, and avoid repeating general words such as “different” when a more exact description is available.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts a complex sentence with “Although both of these places are extremely hard to survive people still go there,” and the opening uses a relative clause to describe the destinations. However, the complex construction is faulty: the relationship between “hard to survive” and “people still go there” is not expressed correctly, and the sentence needs clearer punctuation. There are also errors in sentence formation and mechanics, including “On of the benefits” and the lowercase “i” in “i will elucidate.” The range of structures remains limited, with most ideas presented as short or loosely connected clauses. Practise building accurate sentences with a clear subject and verb, and use full stops to separate complete ideas before attempting longer structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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