Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.

What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It has been observed that recently people have extended their hobbies of travel to unsual places with extreme temperature and wheater conditions. Some of this includes like going on vacation to Sahara desert or Ghost white & piles of snowy places llike parts of antarctic and poles. While, huamnkind has evolved and greed to see places has taken over even both poles there is no stopping now. I will elloborate it briefly on how it can be fun but dangerous if not prepared sufficietly.

To begin with the advantages of visiting such exotic places is once in a lifetime experince as one will be explored to culture that has only been seen through screens. To be at the antarctic part and watch penguine and dolphins is miracle near to witnessing heaven itself. Such peaceful and serene environment far from the chaos of everyday basic human life can help to feel more special and worthy. While, myself who visited sahara desert and has been to safari in jeep, watch tribal dance during sunset hours, exotic food, bonefires and hawk trained to sit on hand or head has been no less than dreamy vacation ever.

But on the contrary as the critics says; it has to be illegal to have so much fun because this is all personalised experience and amount of money spent has to be never going anywhere else. Subsequentially, extreme hot and cold weather while travelling in ship can cause sea sickness and desert rides gets you sunburn is and all of this is not accounted while having fun.

In conlusion it is all preety and desirable for few days or may be on phone screen or as shown in TV shows but sometimes even to get to the the destination itself ia a challenge and health risk.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question: the first body paragraph describes memorable experiences and contact with wildlife and local culture, while the next mentions weather-related discomfort and health risks. The personal example of a Sahara safari also helps make the benefits relevant. However, the disadvantages are much less clearly explained, and the point about the cost being “never going anywhere else” is difficult to understand and does not directly explain a disadvantage. Your position is also not fully clear: the conclusion calls these trips desirable but emphasises the challenge and risk without stating how you weigh the benefits against them. Develop each disadvantage with a clear explanation and example, and make your overall view explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for benefits and drawbacks, and a conclusion. This gives the reader a coherent overall arrangement. Some linking is effective, such as “To begin with” and “But on the contrary,” although the latter introduces a paragraph whose first point about personalised experiences and money is unclear. Several transitions are mechanical or awkward, including “While” at the start of sentences where the relationship between ideas is not clear. The conclusion also repeats the general contrast rather than drawing the discussion together. Improve progression by grouping related points, using clearer links between cause and effect, and ensuring pronouns and references such as “this” have an unmistakable meaning.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “extreme temperature,” “serene environment,” “sea sickness,” and “sunburn,” and some choices help convey the appeal and risks of remote travel. However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow: “unsual,” “wheater,” “elloborate,” and “greed to see places” are examples. Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “Ghost white & piles of snowy places” and “exotic food, bonefires.” This limits the clarity and control of your vocabulary. Check spelling carefully and choose precise collocations, for example, “remote, snow-covered regions” and “a once-in-a-lifetime experience,” rather than relying on unclear descriptive phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a contrast between the attractions and risks of these destinations. However, complex sentences are often difficult to control, and frequent errors can make the reader work to understand the intended meaning. For example, “While, myself who visited sahara desert and has been to safari in jeep…” lacks a clear grammatical main clause, while “the critics says” has a subject–verb agreement error. There are also problems with articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries, as in “a miracle near to witnessing heaven itself” and the long final sentence. Practise building complete sentences around one main idea, then add subordinate clauses only when their relationship is clear. Proofread agreement, articles, and punctuation.

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