Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.

What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, people are more adventurous than in the past, so they tend to visit places with harsh living conditions. In the following essay, I am going to discuss about the merits and demerits for tourists who prefer to visit such place like Sahara desert and the Antarctic.

To begin with the advantages, one of the principal benefit is that they can experience untouchedm pristine landscapes that few people ever get to see in person. To illustrate, usual tourits places often overcrowded and commercialized, whereas extreme environments offer breathtaking scenic views and natural beauty. For example, visiting the Antarctic and seeing polar bears or penguins considered once-in-a-lifetime experience. Furthermore, people do have a access of the internet from anywhere in the world. Due to that, they can film the photos and vidoes of such places, and posting it online can generate passive income. Eventually, I have one of my friend, he usually prefer to visit such a isolate places, and make documentary on that and post it on Youtube. He gained 120k+ subscribers now he is financially independent.

On the other hand, exposure to extreme weather and nazardous conditions can lead to serious injury or illness. Added to that, unforgiving climates can quickly become dangerous if proper precautions or equipment fail. Indirectly, it can lead to dead if one could not get proper treatment within timely manners. Additionally, travelling to place like Sahara desert often considered as a cost heavy trip which can disturb one's finance badly. For example, I have visited Sahara desert last year and I have spent almost $10000 on only guided treks.

To conclude, visiting isolate places can benefits an individual in unique way of experience, and it could be passive source of income, however, serious health conditions and disturbance of finance should be considered in a parallel manner.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall view: remote destinations offer unusual experiences and possible income, but also bring health and financial risks. The examples about your friend’s documentary channel and your Sahara trip make the discussion relevant and personal. This meets the task well, and the benefits and disadvantages are both identifiable. However, some ideas are more fully explained than others. The income point is developed through a specific example, while the health risks are listed without explaining how visitors might reduce them or why help can be difficult to access. The claim that tourists can access the internet “from anywhere” is also too broad. Develop each main point with a clear explanation and a directly relevant example to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand,” and “To conclude” helps readers follow the two sides. The examples are generally placed alongside the points they support, so the progression is easy to understand. Some linking is mechanical, however, and a few connections are unclear. “Due to that” does not precisely explain how internet access leads to income, while “Eventually” is not a natural signal for introducing your friend’s example. The conclusion also compresses several ideas into one sentence. Use fewer formulaic transitions and make the relationship between each claim and its example explicit; this would create smoother cohesion and a more controlled progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “harsh living conditions,” “pristine landscapes,” “commercialized,” “breathtaking,” and “unforgiving climates.” These choices show an effort to describe both the appeal and the risks of remote destinations, and the meaning is generally clear. There are, however, several inaccurate word choices, collocations, and spelling errors that limit precision: “usual tourits places,” “a cost heavy trip,” “disturb one’s finance,” and “isolate places” do not sound natural in context. “Film the photos” is also an imprecise expression. Aim to learn common word partnerships and check spelling and word forms carefully. More accurate phrasing would make your vocabulary range sound more flexible and natural without needing unnecessarily complex words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a contrast with “whereas” and a conditional clause beginning “if proper precautions or equipment fail.” Most of the message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur in articles, agreement, verb forms, and sentence construction. For example, “one of the principal benefit” needs plural agreement, and “seeing polar bears or penguins considered” is missing a verb. In “I have one of my friend, he usually prefer,” the noun form, agreement, and sentence connection all need correction. The conclusion’s “can benefits” also shows difficulty with verb forms. Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject and finite verb, then review articles and singular/plural agreement. Greater control of these patterns would make your varied sentences more accurate.

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