Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.

What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

A lot of people wants to travel and loves travelling nowadays. It has become a trend in our society right now. Some are looking for just to travel and some wants an adventure. They want some new place, with hard resources, and a challenging one. We all know that Desert is the opposite of Antartic. It is completely both different worlds, but some people prefer one over the other. There are a lot of benefits and disadvantage of each country or place that you'll be into. Let's start with the desert, we all know that desert is hot, it is unusual from where we live and grew up, and the water is not easy to finds, unlike here on where we live, we have accessible water supplies and we have airconditioning when the temperature is very hot, we can easily control the temperature to what we want. Now for the Antartic, we know that it's far different from a desert. It's cold and a lot of ice, be sure to bring some warmer. Disadvantage of it is if you don't like too cold weather, some people find it hard to survive in such a cold place but there are a lot of ways to survive it. It's not too alive like cities where we grew up. But the good thing is we'll have experience for their country, we'll know more about their place and culture. And We'll have more memories to treasure. at the end of the day, it's the memories and experience that we gain value the most

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify several relevant benefits and disadvantages, including the challenge of extreme heat or cold, difficulty accessing water, and the chance to gain experience and lasting memories. However, the response only partially answers the question: it focuses heavily on describing the environments and gives little explanation of why visiting them benefits tourists or what specific risks they face. The comparison that “Desert is the opposite of Antartic” does not develop an argument, and the cultural benefit is asserted rather than supported with an example. To strengthen the response, organise it around clear benefits and disadvantages for tourists, explain each point, and add a relevant example such as the need for specialist equipment or the value of seeing a unique landscape.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic sequence from general comments about travel to the desert, then Antarctica, and finally a concluding thought about memories. This gives the reader some sense of direction. However, ideas are not arranged into clear paragraphs, and the response moves abruptly between points: “Let's start with the desert” is followed by a long run-on discussion, while the shift to Antarctica is not clearly signposted as a new main point. Repeated phrases such as “we all know” and “some people” do little to connect or develop the argument. Use separate paragraphs for benefits and disadvantages, and link each point with clear references and transitions so the progression is easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses basic vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “challenging,” “accessible water supplies,” “temperature,” and “memories to treasure.” These choices communicate the general subject, but the range is limited and several expressions are imprecise or unnatural, which sometimes makes the meaning less clear. For example, “hard resources” does not clearly describe difficult conditions, and “bring some warmer” is not an appropriate way to refer to clothing. There are also spelling errors in “Antartic” and “airconditioning.” Build a more precise topic vocabulary for extreme environments and tourism, and check spelling and collocations. This will help you explain risks and benefits more clearly without relying on repeated basic wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and use simple clauses to communicate the main ideas, but the range of structures is limited and errors occur frequently. Subject–verb agreement is inconsistent in “A lot of people wants” and “some wants,” while “the water is not easy to finds” has an incorrect verb form. Other examples include “There are a lot of benefits and disadvantage” and the sentence fragment “It's cold and a lot of ice.” Several sentences run together, particularly the long section beginning “Now for the Antartic,” and punctuation and capitalisation are inconsistent. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, verb patterns, and sentence boundaries, then use a few controlled complex sentences to explain cause and effect.

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