Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.

What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In resecent years, tousists interests towards the desert lands are surging up drastically which serves various merits such as new experience and great knowlendge Nevertheless, It comes with few demrits too like expensive excursions, shortage of food and water and lack of medical aid.This essay will concisely elucidate the diasadvantages of this trend with my suitable examples.

To commence with the substantial reason is that transportation facilities to these locations are quite rare, only available to those individuals who can afford because, that services are not much efficient as campared to the cities.Therefore, which leaves them to suffer sometimes if they do not find any vehicle to reach their destinations cost the people exorbidantly Not in matter of money but also mentally or physically.For example, It is widely observed that ample number of individuals faced commuting issues widely during their polar regions excursions.So, It should be for them to check out all the conditions before planning a trip.

Moving further, anorther negativce side of this trend is that medical services in those areas is not feasible specifically, for those who are going through the certain medical conditions conversely, to urban cities it is quite accessible.Resultantly, ample tourists face severe health issues and end to death owing to the unavilabililty of medical assistance. Thereby, considerable amount of tourist ought to give first priority to their health as well as get the information of that attractions that, Will it suits to their health nature.

To conclude it, by taking all the things under consideration it can be articulated that trips to the desert places is suityable for those who are really physically or mentally fit and can adapt their environment easily.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response addresses the disadvantages of visiting remote destinations, especially transport difficulties and limited medical care, and gives some relevant explanation of their possible consequences. However, the task asks for both benefits and disadvantages, while the benefits are only briefly named in the introduction as “new experience and great knowledge” and are not developed or supported with examples. The conclusion also focuses on who should travel rather than weighing both sides. This leaves the response only partially addressing the task, and the position on the overall balance of benefits and drawbacks is not clear. To strengthen the response, develop at least one specific benefit and one disadvantage, explaining each with a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs about disadvantages, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “To commence with,” “Moving further,” and “To conclude” help signal the stages of the essay. However, progression is limited because both body paragraphs present drawbacks, with no paragraph developing the benefits mentioned in the introduction. Some linking is mechanical or unclear; for example, “Therefore, which leaves them to suffer” does not connect grammatically to the preceding sentence, and the long sentence beginning “Not in matter of money” is difficult to follow. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each explanation directly to its consequence. A balanced paragraph structure would also make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “transportation facilities,” “medical services,” “polar regions,” and “medical assistance.” These choices show an effort to discuss the practical risks of remote travel. However, spelling errors and inaccurate or unnatural collocations are frequent enough to make parts of the response difficult to read, as in “tousists interests,” “exorbidantly,” “anorther negativce side,” and “unavilabililty.” Phrases such as “desert lands” and “health nature” are also imprecise in context. Aim for accurate, natural combinations such as “tourists’ interest in remote destinations,” “high travel costs,” and “suit their health needs.” Proofreading spelling and word forms would make your meaning clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and more complex sentence forms, including cause-and-effect structures with “because,” “owing to,” and “Resultantly.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, articles, and clause structure sometimes make the meaning hard to follow. For example, “Therefore, which leaves them to suffer” is an incomplete clause, while “medical services in those areas is not feasible” has a subject–verb agreement problem. The sentence beginning “Not in matter of money” is also incomplete and lacks clear punctuation. Practise building complete sentences with one clear main clause, then add a subordinate clause where needed. Check agreement and punctuation when editing.

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