Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.

What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In this modern world, there are contrasting perceptions when it comes to the importance of extreme tourism. As, an overwhelmiong number of individuals travels to such places where conditions are difiicult

to explre more about that area and enjoy the beauty of nature. I also concur to the fact that the along with benefits there are some drawbacks and i will discuss both in further paragraphs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The opening shows awareness that the essay must consider both sides: you state that extreme tourism has “benefits” as well as “drawbacks,” and mention exploring an area and enjoying nature. However, the response does not go on to explain either the benefits or disadvantages, give reasons, or provide an example, so the task is addressed only minimally. The position is also not developed beyond saying that both sides will be discussed. The response is 184 words short of the required minimum, which leaves too little space to answer the question fully. To improve, develop at least one clear benefit and one disadvantage in separate paragraphs, support each with a reason or example, and finish with a conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: the opening introduces the topic and signals that both benefits and drawbacks will be discussed. The phrase “I will discuss both in further paragraphs” also indicates an intended direction. However, no further paragraphs follow, so there is no progression from an introduction to supporting points or a conclusion. The ideas within the opening are crowded together, and the sentence beginning “As” does not connect smoothly to the preceding statement. Build a clear paragraph structure, with one main idea per body paragraph, and use linking expressions to show how each reason or example relates to the question.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some relevant topic vocabulary, including “extreme tourism,” “conditions are difficult,” and “beauty of nature,” so the general subject is identifiable. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “contrasting perceptions.” However, several spelling errors—“overwhelmiong,” “difiicult,” and “explre”—make the writing less clear, while “contrasting perceptions” is vague for introducing the specific benefits and disadvantages. Some expressions are also unnatural, particularly “travels to such places” when referring to “individuals.” Aim for accurate spelling and more precise collocations, such as “harsh environments,” “remote destinations,” and “experience natural landscapes.” A fuller response would also need a wider range of vocabulary for risks, costs, and rewards.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to use more than simple sentences, including a clause explaining why tourists visit these places and a sentence that previews the essay. However, control is uneven. “As, an…” is an incomplete and incorrectly punctuated opening, and “an … number of individuals travels” has a mismatch between the plural subject and verb. The phrase “I also concur to the fact that the along with benefits…” is not grammatically complete, and the final sentence joins ideas without clear structure. Capitalisation of “I” is also inconsistent. Practise forming complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and check agreement, articles, punctuation, and sentence boundaries before submitting.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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