Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-25
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public.
Write a letter to the company. In your letter
- describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team
- summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts
- say how you think the company should spend the money
You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear Sir or Madam,
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Hi sir
hear i am writing email to express my concern regarding and think you for games project.
Firstly, we should take into account the importance of your spending money in my village for sports, it is great chance to meet poor and need childrean to explore ourselvess because of my village hasnot any play ground for children, if they play in the playground then they well be good player in the future and children reach out in good position in the future. Moreover other big effect health if they play in the playground they stay away from the drug and our children are the future of our country If they stay away from drugs, they can do well in their businesses and help improve society.
In conclusion, i greatly thanful you because your company think about my village and you decide to spent big amount of money in my village.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response attempts to address all parts of the prompt, mentioning the benefits of sports sponsorship, briefly touching upon the health and social benefits, and concluding with a preference for the sports team. However, the requirement to summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts is largely overlooked, as the writer focuses almost exclusively on the sports team. Ideas are underdeveloped and repetitive, particularly regarding children staying away from drugs and being the future of the country. The tone is inappropriate for a formal letter to a company, beginning incorrectly with 'Hi sir'. Because the coverage of the second bullet point is missing and the development is limited, this falls into Band 5.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The letter lacks appropriate paragraphing and logical progression. The entire body of the letter is compressed into one lengthy, confusing paragraph following an incorrect greeting ('Hi sir hear i am writing email...'). Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, with repetitive conjunctions such as 'and' and 'if' chaining clauses together awkwardly. There is no clear overall progression of ideas, making it difficult for the reader to follow the train of thought. Referencing is also faulty, for instance, using 'ourselfvess' and unclear pronouns. These issues reflect Band 4 characteristics.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
Vocabulary is basic and heavily limited, with frequent spelling errors ('hear' instead of here, 'childrean', 'ourselfvess', 'hasnot', 'well' instead of will, 'thanful', 'spent' instead of spend). There are also incorrect collocations and word choices, such as 'games project' instead of sports sponsorship and 'poor and need childrean'. The student attempts some less common concepts like 'explore ourselvess' and 'improve society', but the execution contains too many errors that strain the reader's understanding. This aligns with the Band 4 descriptor for lexical resource.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
Grammatical range is severely limited, consisting mainly of basic sentence structures joined incorrectly by comma splices and conjunctions (e.g., 'if they play in the playground then they well be good player in the future and children reach out in good position in the future'). There are frequent, persistent errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries. Complex structures are attempted but are consistently faulty. These widespread grammatical errors frequently cause difficulty and impede the reader, placing the response firmly at Band 4.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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