Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public.

Write a letter to the company. In your letter

• describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team
• summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts
• say how you think the company should spend the money

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Dear Sir/Madam, Good morning, Hope you are doing great, I am writing to the higher authorities at the local big industry about the huge amount of money spend on physical activities is a great decision for youngsters compared to organising two concerts.

Local people will get more motivation when they see their children playing sports, as they focus more their health and become fit and mentally strong. Ultimately, they protect their from obesity and laziness. As a result, they may lead to a healthy lifestyle. Moreover, they get motivated by their teammates, as they may do more hard work, which automatically push them to compete other teams. due to that they can able to bear difficult challenges in their further life.

Apart from that, nowadays people get inspired from their role models when they see their favourite person's life they try to follow them and try do work hard to become like that person.

To my point of view, sponsoring children team for two years is great idea

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response addresses the task only partially. While the writer attempts to discuss the benefits of sponsoring a sports team and gives a personal preference for how the money should be spent, the second bullet point regarding the benefits of paying for the concerts is largely neglected and omitted from the discussion. Instead, the response immediately jumps into the physical and mental health advantages of sports and repeats variations of motivation and hard work. Furthermore, the position is not always clearly sustained throughout, and the ideas presented are limited and under-developed, relying on repetitive general statements such as 'they protect their from obesity and laziness' and 'they may lead to a healthy lifestyle' without fully expanding on the specific merits requested by the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is some basic organisation with paragraph breaks attempted, but the text lacks an overall logical progression and clear flow. The transitional markers and cohesive devices used, such as 'Apart from that' and 'Moreover', are often mechanical, repetitive, or inadequate to link ideas smoothly. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, as seen in phrases like 'they protect their from obesity' where the pronoun reference is dangling and confusing. The opening greeting and tone deviate from standard formal letter-writing conventions, showing a mixture of informal spoken expressions like 'Hope you are doing great' rather than maintaining a consistent, structured flow appropriate for a public feedback letter.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited but minimally adequate to convey basic thoughts. The writer attempts some less common phrases, such as 'obesity and laziness' and 'role models', but these are accompanied by noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and word formation, such as 'big industry' instead of 'large company', and 'spend' instead of 'spent'. There are also awkward phrasings like 'compete other teams' instead of 'compete against other teams'. These lexical inaccuracies occasionally cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the response from achieving a higher level of precision and natural style.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer employs a limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple clauses and run-on sentences joined by commas. Attempts at more complex sentences are frequently faulty, characterised by frequent errors in grammar, prepositions, and verb forms. Examples include 'the huge amount of money spend on physical activities is a great decision', missing articles such as 'protect their from obesity', and incorrect modal verb patterns like 'they can able to bear'. Punctuation is also problematic, with run-on segments lacking proper full stops or conjunctions. These frequent errors require the reader to decode the intended meaning.

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