Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public.

Write a letter to the company. In your letter

• describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team
• summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts
• say how you think the company should spend the money

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Dear Sir or Madam,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing this regarding the advantages that the area would achieve by having a local children's sports team and having a chance to watch open air concerts.

First of all, it would really be immerse that children can have a chance of participating in this team and can show their skills that results in the high chances of when because by giving this opportunity as a fund may encourage group of talented children's to join this sports team.

Second the benefits to pay for the open year concert help every individual indoor society to have the chance to look out these concerts and they can learn a lot and they can spare time by having this fun and learn the things that can show in the open air concerts.

I hope you might understand that how much it would be beneficial for the society and for the company.

Looking forward to hearing your response.

Your's faithfully,

Sukhbir Kaur

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify both options and include a preference-related closing, so the response is connected to the task. However, the required points are only minimally addressed: the sports-team paragraph mentions children showing skills and joining, while the concert paragraph refers generally to entertainment and learning. These benefits are not clearly explained, and you never state which option the company should choose. The sentence about what would benefit “the society and the company” does not make your recommendation clear. To strengthen the letter, explain specific outcomes for each option—for example, regular exercise and teamwork for children, or shared entertainment for a wider audience—and finish with a direct choice supported by a reason.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The letter has a recognisable sequence: an opening, a paragraph for each funding option, and a closing. “First of all” and “Second” help signal the two main points, and the greeting and sign-off suit a formal letter. However, progression within the paragraphs is difficult to follow because several ideas are crowded into long, unclear sentences. For instance, the first body paragraph moves from participation to skills, funding, and attracting talented children without showing how these points connect. The concert paragraph also repeats the idea of having a chance to attend. Use shorter sentences, organise each paragraph around one clear benefit, and add a final paragraph that states your recommendation.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “sponsoring,” “sports team,” “talented,” and “open air concerts,” which helps identify the subject. However, the range is basic and several word choices or combinations make the meaning hard to understand. “It would really be immerse” does not express a clear benefit, and “indoor society” appears inconsistent with the open-air event. “High chances of when” is also unclear. Aim for precise, natural phrases and check that each word fits its context. For example, describe concerts as “accessible to local residents” and say that sponsorship could “encourage children to take part in sport.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, and the opening and closing are mostly understandable. However, complex sentences are often faulty, which sometimes obscures your meaning. In “children can have a chance of participating … and can show their skills that results,” the relative clause does not connect clearly and “results” does not agree with its subject. The phrase “I hope you might understand that how much it would be beneficial” also has an incorrect clause pattern. There are problems with articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries, as in “a fund may encourage group of talented children's.” Practise building one clear main clause at a time, then add subordinate clauses with accurate agreement and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.