Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public.

Write a letter to the company. In your letter

• describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team
• summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts
• say how you think the company should spend the money

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing in connection with the feedback about sponsoring the sports and concerts.

To provide some context, spending on the sports and the concerts would be lucrative not only for the public but also it helps to attract the visitors in my society. In addition, professional athletes can also get a chance to participate equally in different sports as well as it also helps them to overcome their stress about their work or study by teaching to the local children.

However, the open-air concert can also helps people to get name and fame in their community by showing thier talents to others. It can helps individuals to develop their skills such as communication. People can also get a chance to meet with famous actor or actors rather than spending their own expenditure on it.

I think raising funds on these concerts and children's sports bring more benefits for the children develpoment and it is fruitful for them to take part in different activities and becom more familiar with the other children's and stay healthier in the life.

Thank you for your time consideration and I hope you will accept my request further.

Yours faitfully,

Prabhjot Kaur

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address the three requested points: you mention possible benefits of supporting children’s sport, describe opportunities concerts could offer, and give a preference for funding activities for children. However, the recommendation is not fully clear: “raising funds on these concerts and children's sports” sounds as though you support both options, while the task asks you to choose how the company should spend the money. Some benefits are also unclear or insufficiently explained, such as how professional athletes would teach local children. Make the choice explicit and develop each option with a specific, relevant benefit. The letter format and polite opening and closing are appropriate, but the content only partially fulfils the purpose because the comparison and final decision need clearer explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an opening, separate paragraphs for the two options, a recommendation, and a closing. Transitions such as “In addition” and “However” help signal relationships between ideas. Nevertheless, progression is sometimes difficult to follow because several points are combined in long sentences, and the connection between them is not always clear. For example, the sentence about athletes participating in sports and relieving work or study stress “by teaching to the local children” brings together ideas without explaining their relationship. The final paragraph also shifts from concerts to children’s sports without clearly stating a choice. Use one main idea per sentence and link the comparison directly to your recommendation.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of vocabulary related to the topic, including “sponsor,” “open-air concert,” “participate,” and “develop their skills.” However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or awkward, which sometimes makes the intended meaning difficult to understand. For instance, “lucrative” does not clearly express a public benefit here, and “get name and fame” is not a natural phrase in this context. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “thier,” “develpoment,” “becom,” and “faitfully.” Aim for precise, natural expressions and check spelling carefully. A smaller set of accurate phrases for describing community benefits would communicate your ideas more effectively than ambitious but unsuitable wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including sentences beginning with “In addition” and “However,” and you use modal verbs such as “can.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to interpret. Examples include “the open-air concert can also helps,” where the verb form does not agree with “can,” and “it also helps them,” where the reference of “it” is unclear. The final sentence, “I hope you will accept my request further,” also has an awkward grammatical construction. Practise forming sentences with modal verbs followed by the base verb, and check subject–verb agreement, articles, and plural forms. Shorter, carefully controlled sentences would improve clarity.

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