Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public.

Write a letter to the company. In your letter

• describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team
• summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts
• say how you think the company should spend the money

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Dear Sir,

I am writing to suggest you to utilise your fund either on a local kids' sport group for couple of years or on a couple of open-air events.

I would appreciate it, if you could utilise your finance on a local juvenials' sports group upto two years. this can become opportunity to obtaine a sponsor, who have an excellent interest as well as capabilities regarding sport. It can be assistfull to other kids also, who want build their career into the sport in thier life.

I can also elaborate that musians can acquire opportunites to perform on distinct concerts. This can also lead to formulate opportunities to incline sale of local economy in our town. People will get more opportunity to earn more due to the concerts.

I would appreciate it, if you could utilise your fund on two open-air concerts. It can be assistfull to adults, who can find chances to rejuvenient their mindsets.

I look forward to hear somthing from your side.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You address the two possible uses of the money and give a final preference for the concerts, so the reader can identify your recommendation. However, the task asks you to describe the benefits of sponsoring a children’s team and summarise the benefits of the concerts; these points are only minimally developed. The sports section mentions helping children build a career, but the explanation is unclear, and the concert benefits are split between musicians’ opportunities, local sales and adults’ enjoyment without showing how these benefits compare. The opening also repeats the choice rather than establishing a clear purpose for writing. To strengthen the response, explain each option’s benefits more directly and support your recommendation with a clear reason linked to the company or community.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The letter has a basic sequence: an opening, a paragraph about the sports team, a paragraph about concerts, and a concluding preference. This gives the reader some sense of organisation. However, progression is uneven because the concert discussion is interrupted by a second paragraph that again recommends concerts, while the sports and concert benefits are not clearly grouped and compared. Linking phrases such as “I can also elaborate” and “I would appreciate it” are repeated or do not clearly show the relationship between ideas. The closing, “I look forward to hear somthing from your side,” is present but does not fully resolve the letter’s argument. Use one focused paragraph for each option, then a short conclusion explaining your choice, with clearer links between supporting points.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “sponsor,” “capabilities,” “local economy,” and “open-air concerts,” and the general subject remains understandable. However, the range is limited by repeated wording such as “utilise your fund” and “opportunity,” and several inaccurate word choices or forms make parts difficult to interpret. For example, “juvenials’ sports group” is not a natural way to refer to a children’s team, while “incline sale of local economy” does not express the intended economic benefit clearly. Spelling errors such as “musians,” “thier,” and “somthing” also reduce accuracy. Aim for natural collocations and precise phrases, such as “support a local youth team” and “boost sales for local businesses.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and some attempts at longer structures, including “This can also lead to…” and the relative clause “adults, who can find chances…”. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make several sentences awkward or unclear. Examples include “I am writing to suggest you to utilise,” where the verb pattern is incorrect, and “who want build their career,” which needs a different verb construction. There are also problems with articles and sentence boundaries, as in “this can become opportunity” and the lowercase “this” after a full stop. The closing phrase “I look forward to hear” also uses the wrong verb form. Practise accurate verb patterns and build longer sentences around one clear main clause.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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