Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public.

Write a letter to the company. In your letter

• describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team
• summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts
• say how you think the company should spend the money

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Sir,

I am writing in order to provide a feedback which was asked from the general public on the basis of spending some portion of money to sponser a local children's sports team or for two open-air concerts.

To commence with, there are many pros in sponsoring the sports team for children. Because of the hectic schedule, nowadays youngsters do not get enough time for the sports. This is because children are burdened with the academic subjects given by school. Moreover, it will help the children to stay healthy and fit, which will further help to boost the morale of the children.

On the other hand, helding two open-air concerts are of paramount advantages. This is because due to sedentry lifestyle, people do not get enough time to enjoy and have fun. So with the intrduction of the concert, the elders and the people from all age groups will be benefitted.

Overall, I would suggest you to balance the expenditure on both the sports sponsorship and the concert.

Thanks for considering our review.

Yours faithfully,

Mehakpreet Kaur

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address all three requested points: you explain that sponsorship could support children’s activity and fitness, note that concerts would offer enjoyment to people of different ages, and recommend dividing the funds between the two options. These ideas are relevant, and your recommendation is clear. However, the benefits are not equally developed: the sports section gives a reason children may lack time for sport, while the concert section mainly makes a broad claim about leisure. The letter would be more persuasive if you explained specific outcomes, such as improved access to coaching or community participation, and clarified how a balanced split could work. The opening also refers to providing “a feedback,” which makes the purpose less natural, though it remains understandable.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter has a clear overall structure, with separate paragraphs for the sports sponsorship, concerts, and your recommendation. Linking phrases such as “To commence with,” “On the other hand,” and “Overall” help the reader follow the progression, and the closing is appropriate for a formal letter. This gives the response a coherent arrangement. Some connections, however, feel mechanical, and the reasoning within paragraphs could be linked more explicitly: for example, explain how sponsorship would lead from children’s limited free time to greater participation. The concert paragraph also moves quickly from sedentary lifestyles to the benefit of concerts. More precise transitions and clearer links between each claim and its result would make the progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of vocabulary for the topic, including “sponsoring,” “hectic schedule,” “morale,” and “sedentary lifestyle,” and the meaning is generally clear. There are also attempts at more formal expressions, such as “paramount advantages,” although this phrase is not a natural fit here. Several spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, including “sponser,” “sedentry,” and “intrduction.” Phrases such as “helding two open-air concerts” and “a feedback” are also awkward or inaccurate. Aim for natural collocations rather than elevated wording for its own sake; for instance, say that concerts “would provide entertainment” and that sponsorship “could support a local team.” Proofreading spelling and word forms would strengthen control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a reason clause beginning “Because of the hectic schedule” and a relative clause in “which will further help to boost the morale.” Most sentences communicate their main meaning, so the reader can follow your points. Some grammatical errors remain, however. “I would suggest you to balance” should be “I would suggest that you balance” or “I would advise you to balance,” and “the elders and the people from all age groups will be benefitted” has an awkward structure and passive form. The opening sentence is also difficult to control because several ideas are packed into one construction. Use a wider variety of accurate sentence patterns and check verb forms and clause structure.

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