Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

personally ,the aging is disadvantage to the government because , i have two primary reasons firstly is ,when most aging individuals are present in a community the authorities face the problems in the society because , the old peoples were not able to work .when the youth were not present in the society the country can not grow .secondly is the aging can affect the environment also the society also create the problems for the policymakers if the youth were not present in country the development are stoped and the country goes to default.conculsision, the aging were affect all the work .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You give a clear overall view that an aging population is a disadvantage, and you identify two possible concerns: fewer workers and slower national development. However, the response only partially addresses the question. It asks whether advantages outweigh disadvantages, but you do not discuss any advantages or explain how the disadvantages compare with them. The claims that older people cannot work and that a country may “go to default” are stated broadly, with no explanation or relevant example. The response is also substantially below the required 250 words, so there is not enough development to support your position. To improve, address both sides, explain each point with a cause-and-effect link, and include a specific example before reaching a clear conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: you state your position, introduce reasons with “firstly” and “secondly,” and finish with a conclusion. These signposts help the reader recognise the intended sequence. However, the ideas are compressed into one continuous block, and the links between them are often unclear. For example, the move from older people being unable to work to “the youth were not present” is not explained, and the second reason shifts from the environment to policymakers and development without showing how these points connect. Several commas and repeated “because” also make the progression difficult to follow. Use separate paragraphs and develop one main idea at a time, with clear links between claim, explanation, and example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “aging population,” “authorities,” “policymakers,” and “development,” so the general topic is identifiable. However, the range is limited and several phrases are imprecise or unnatural, such as “the aging is disadvantage,” “old peoples,” and “the development are stoped.” The reference to the “environment” is not explained and does not clearly support your argument. Spelling and word-form errors, including “conculsision” and “stoped,” also reduce clarity. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and more precise terms—for example, describe pressure on public services or a shrinking workforce rather than saying older people create “problems in the society.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

Your response mainly uses simple statements and attempts to connect ideas with “because” and “when,” showing some effort to form longer sentences. However, sentence structures are limited, and errors in agreement, articles, and verb forms occur throughout. Examples include “the aging is disadvantage,” “the old peoples were not able to work,” and “the development are stoped.” The sentence beginning “when the youth were not present” also has an unclear relationship between its clauses. Punctuation and capitalisation are inconsistent, with spaces before commas and several ideas joined into long sentences. Practise accurate simple sentence patterns first, then combine them using controlled clauses, checking subject–verb agreement and tense.

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