Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Although some countries people have more ages than ever before. Many people consider aging population problem for governments because it may increase the burden on government which is difficult to manage. While other believe that they are benefical for society because they share the ethics and experinces with new generation, that really need of it.

While considering the statement that elder people creates problem for government. So upto some extent it can be problem for a government owning to the situation that all the elder people live in oldage and oldage homes run by government. Many of them, if does not live in oldage homes they completely rely on old alluances which consequently burden on government. If there number increase by time it not only creates burden on government but also effect the economical development. As major part of government revenue invested for taking care of elders so health sectors, education department and other development area will suffer. For instance in our family there are number of elder people in our family while gathering instead of enjoyng we people mostly take care of them.

Conversely, there are some advanyages of having eleder people in our society since they transfer ethicals and cultural norms in young generation which is important for them not to live their lives but also keep their culturals norms alive. Moreover, it gives us experience which they gained from their lives which teaches us how to overcome different situations if we people face it very first time. Consequencely we will face lil or no harm from different situations.

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AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the question: the pressure on public spending and the contribution older people can make by passing on cultural values and life experience. However, the response does not clearly answer the key question of how far the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The opening presents both views, but no firm overall judgement is stated, and the conclusion is missing because the response ends with “In”. The points are relevant but remain general: for example, the claim that spending on older people affects education and development would be stronger with a specific explanation or example. State your position clearly and develop the main reasons supporting it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has recognisable sections: an introduction, a paragraph about disadvantages, and one about advantages. Linking expressions such as “While considering” and “Conversely” show an attempt to guide the reader through contrasting ideas. However, progression is limited, and the final paragraph is incomplete, so the argument has no clear ending. Some connections are awkward or unclear, particularly “While considering the statement… So upto some extent,” where the relationship between the clauses is not well controlled. Ideas within paragraphs also need clearer sequencing; the family example, for instance, does not clearly support the broader claim about government costs. Use a straightforward paragraph plan and connect each example directly to its main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “aging population,” “burden,” “government revenue,” “cultural norms,” and “development.” This gives you a basic range for discussing the issue. However, frequent spelling errors and inaccurate word forms make the writing difficult to read in places, as in “benefical,” “experinces,” “advanyages,” and “Consequencely.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “share the ethics” and “old alluances”; these choices obscure your intended meaning. Aim to use familiar words accurately before attempting less common expressions, and check spelling and collocations carefully. More precise terms such as “public expenditure” and “pension payments” would help you explain the financial argument.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including conditional and cause-and-effect structures, but complex attempts are often faulty and errors occur frequently. For example, “Although some countries people have more ages” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “Many of them, if does not live in oldage homes they completely rely…” has problems with clause formation and subject–verb agreement. There are also errors in articles, plurals, and verb forms, as in “elder people creates” and “if there number increase.” These issues sometimes make the intended meaning hard to follow. Practise building accurate basic sentences first, then add subordinate clauses, checking that each clause has a subject and a correctly formed verb.

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