Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In current decade, some individuals argue that noof lifewadays lives are longer and older people creates issue for the governments.While others argue that it is beneficial for the society to have old population.I strongly believe that , the merits of having old population are greater then demerits.

On the one hand, there are many advantaages.Firstly, old population is a treasure for young generation, because they have alot of ability and knowledge in every aspects of life.They give best advices to the youngsters, and also help them in different ways.For instance,In Pakistan mostly joint families many young people who wants any advice, they mostly prefer their grandparents to communicate, because they are frank with them.They also spend a huge time of the day with them. Moreover,they discuss all the problems with old people ,and also get a differ solutions.Furthermore,in big cities like Lahore and Islamabad both parents do job ,so it is difficult for them to afford a helper for their child.So,it is beneficial for them to have an old people who take care of their children.They can easily rely on them.

On the other hand ,some people argue that old people creates issues for the government.They become dependant on them,and they demand for pensions.To examplify this,In government schools when an old teachers retire from their duty they demand for pensions and also government gave facilities to old people on healthcare sector.So it is not an issue they have afull right to demand these benefits from government because they serve in an educational sectir.

From my perspective, the advantages are more then disadvantages because old individuals play an important rolein youngsters life.

In conclusion, the benefits are outweigh because old people gave many advantages like giving a good advice ar caring their grand children ,their drawbacks are less.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and state a clear position: “the merits of having old population are greater then demerits.” The benefits you identify—older people sharing experience and helping with childcare—are relevant, and the Pakistan and city examples make these points more concrete. You also acknowledge government costs through pensions and healthcare. However, this disadvantage is not fully explained, and the paragraph then shifts to justifying retirees’ entitlement rather than weighing the burden against the benefits. Your conclusion repeats your view but does not add a clear comparison. To strengthen the response, explain the scale or consequences of the costs and develop why the social contributions you describe outweigh them.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Moreover,” and “On the other hand” help signal the direction of the argument. However, some links feel mechanical, and the progression within paragraphs is not always clear. For example, the advantages paragraph moves from advice to family relationships and then childcare without clearly showing how each point supports the overall comparison. The government-cost paragraph also moves quickly from pensions to healthcare and then to retirees’ rights. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to the claim it supports; this would make the argument easier to follow and the cohesion less repetitive.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “joint families,” “pensions,” “healthcare,” and “take care of their children.” These choices help communicate the main ideas. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, spelling, and collocation errors make the writing less natural, such as “old population,” “a differ solutions,” and “demand for pensions.” Repetition of “old people” and “advantages” also reduces precision. Aim to use more accurate topic-specific expressions and vary references to older people. Check spelling and common word partnerships carefully, since errors such as “advices” and “sectir” can distract the reader even when the intended meaning is usually understandable.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including explanations with “because” and examples introduced by “For instance.” The overall meaning is generally recoverable, but errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and punctuation are noticeable. For example, “old people creates issues” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “In Pakistan mostly joint families many young people…” is not a complete, well-formed sentence. Several sentences also run together without appropriate spacing or punctuation, as in “Moreover,they discuss…” and “So,it is beneficial…”. Practise building complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and check agreement and article use. More accurate control of these patterns would make your ideas easier to read.

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