Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Elderly people can greatly contribute to the ethical development of the society. The vast amount of experience and knowledge they have acquired from their life could be useful for the young people now a days. Young people can learn the ways, in order to deal a particular situation from them.In many countries people are now living longer than ever before due to the advacements in the health care system.

Some people believe that an aging population creates problems for governments, as they need intensive health care services. As some elder people face severe health issues, that result in expensive procedures and medications for the recovery process. The Elders that are in old homes, their health care expenses are carried out by government and plus a medical assistant needs to be hired for their take care. As a result, these practices become a large expense on government, which they needs to bear.

In contradiction to above opinion, some people also believe that there are numerous benefits if scoiety has more elderly people. They have a large knowledge base in various aspects of life. They know different organic ways to cure some health problems. For example, if a person have a sore throat, despite of taking a medicine we can cure ourself through various remedies that results in better recovery. They are also a source of well being of society as they teach us and keep us close to our moral values and manners.

In my opinion, the advantagesof having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages because they hold significance importance in terms of providing guidance, and in personal and professional upbringing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and state a clear view in the conclusion: the benefits outweigh the disadvantages. The discussion of government costs is relevant, and you offer examples of older people sharing experience and moral guidance. However, the advantages are asserted more than explained: the claim that elders support “personal and professional upbringing” is not developed with a specific example, and the home-remedy example does not clearly show a broad social benefit. The opening also introduces ethical development without connecting it directly to the question of whether advantages outweigh disadvantages. To strengthen the response, explain the effects of each main point and compare their importance explicitly. The response meets the stated length requirement; 11 words copied from the task prompt were excluded from the count.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an opening, a paragraph on costs, a paragraph on benefits, and a concluding opinion. This helps the reader follow the broad direction of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear. The opening moves from elders’ contributions to longer life expectancy without a smooth link, while “In contradiction to above opinion” signals a contrast awkwardly and does not clearly identify whose opinion is being contrasted. Some connections are also repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “They” to begin claims about older people. Use clearer topic sentences, link each example directly to its main point, and make references explicit. These changes would create a more consistent line of development rather than a sequence of related but loosely connected statements.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “aging population,” “health care services,” “recovery process,” and “moral values.” There are also attempts at less common expressions such as “ethical development” and “knowledge base.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision: “ethical development of the society,” “large expense on government,” and “significance importance” do not express the ideas naturally. Spelling errors such as “advacements,” “scoiety,” and “ourself” are noticeable. Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than more elaborate wording, and proofread spelling. A broader range of precise terms for public costs and intergenerational contributions would make the argument clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a reason clause beginning “as” and a conditional example beginning “if.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to process. For example, “As some elder people face severe health issues, that result…” is an incomplete construction, while “the government, which they needs to bear” has incorrect agreement and an unclear relative clause. Other examples include “a person have” and “we can cure ourself.” Sentence boundaries and spacing also need attention, as in “from them.In many countries.” Practise building complete clauses, checking subject–verb agreement and pronoun forms, and using punctuation to separate ideas. Greater control of these basics would make your meaning more consistently clear.

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