Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There is a ongoing controversy that increase in average age of people is problematic for government while defenders argue that it is beneficial for the government.I partly agree with this statement as it a double edged sword by bringing some challenges along with the benefits.

One of the major advantage of presence of elderly people is availabliity of experienced people in a typical society who can guide the young generation with refference of their own experiences.For example a elder teacher in a college or university can teach students in a effective due to his prolonged experience in teaching.Another significant benefit by presence of elderly people in society is conservation of the cultural and relgious values by guiding young individuals towards them.For instance, grandparents can bring back their grand-children towards their core values if they ever deviate from them.Thus,old-aged people play a crucial role in keeping the society's morale high.

On the other hand there are some drawbacks of increased average life of people as it tends to double the population of a country typically.Futhermore,authorities are more obligated to pay pensions to the retired employees till they are live.Consequently, financial burden on government can increase sharply.For the case government will have to facilitate the well grown people priorily rather than creating opportunities for the youth.Hence these are some of the potential issues that may arise ahead of increase in aged-people's population.

In a nutshell,governments should develop an balanced approach of distributing resources among people of all age groups because average age life is something beyond human control.Therefore, there must be a well developed plan to tackle with those of key issues which are expected to rise in the future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your response addresses both sides of the question and gives a clear, balanced position: you partly agree that an ageing population brings benefits as well as challenges. The examples of experienced teachers and grandparents preserving values are relevant, and you identify pension costs and pressure on government resources as disadvantages. However, the discussion does not fully answer the comparative wording of the question: the conclusion recommends balancing resources rather than explaining whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Some points also need fuller development—for example, the claim that longer lives “tend to double the population” is unclear and unsupported. Explain the scale or consequences of each point and make your final judgement on which side is stronger.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for benefits and drawbacks, and a concluding paragraph. The progression from social contributions to financial pressures is easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “For example,” “On the other hand,” and “Consequently” help signal relationships. This meets the lower-band expectations securely and shows some flexibility in organising the argument. To make the flow more consistently smooth, avoid relying on formulaic transitions and clarify links between claims: “For the case” does not clearly introduce the consequence that follows, while “Thus” and “Hence” sometimes repeat the same summarising function. More precise referencing and a conclusion that directly weighs the two sides would strengthen the progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “experienced people,” “cultural and religious values,” “pensions,” and “financial burden.” These choices make the main ideas understandable, and you attempt more formal expressions such as “conservation” and “obligated.” However, noticeable spelling, word-form, and collocation problems reduce precision: “availabliity,” “refference,” and “relgious” are misspelled, while “increase in average age of people” and “well grown people” are unnatural or unclear. Some phrases also repeat “presence of elderly people” without variation. Build accuracy by learning common collocations for ageing and public spending, and check spelling and word forms carefully; this will make your vocabulary more dependable and natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in the introduction and cause-and-effect structures such as “as it tends to…” and “Consequently…”. The overall meaning is generally recoverable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “There is a ongoing controversy” needs the article “an,” and “as it a double edged sword” is missing the verb “is.” In “till they are live,” the verb form is incorrect, and “an balanced approach” has an article-agreement error. Commas and spacing after sentence openings are also inconsistent. Practise checking articles, subject–verb patterns, and complete clauses, then proofread punctuation. Greater control of these forms would make your varied sentence attempts clearer.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.