Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-06
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Nowadays, in certain nations, individuals have a longer lifespan than ever before. Some people argure that elderly people foster issues for national authorities. Others contend they provide some benefits. From my perspective, the advantages outweigh the diaadvantages and the reasons will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
To begin with, elderly individuals are experienced and they can provide favourable opinions in distinct aspects of life because these seniors may have been gone through difficult circumstances and they know how to deal with them even a number of governmental organizations are being run by these citizens. Moreover, senior citizens often establish their own businesses after their retirements which create more jobs and it is often a valuable asset for their successors. This startup idea of business assists them to spend their leisure time in a valuable way. For instance, in Pakistan, a number of individulas after their jobs open restaurants which offers jobs and their successors expand this after their death. Furthermore, they can look after their homes especially, when other house memebrs go to their work.
In contrast, this situation brings some disadvantages. Governments have to spend a significant amount of money to take care of them because in certain countries it is a law to provide all the benefits such as travel, pension, medical and many more for free. Furthermore, They can affect the job sector. They tend to expand this tenure which leads to scarcity of jobs for young individuals; consequently, a number of young individuals move abroad for work opportunities which has detrimental effects on countries.
To conclude, elderly individuals are valuable asset for society. They can contribute in decision making, foster realtionships, create more jobs and run governmental firms which strengthen countries. But on the other hand, the disadvantages cannot be neglected such as they require pension, and other expenditures by governments.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
Your position is clear from the introduction: you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and the conclusion returns to this view. You address both sides and give relevant points, including older people’s experience, business activity, care within families, public spending and competition for jobs. The Pakistan restaurant example also helps make one benefit more concrete. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained: for example, the claim that retirees create jobs and that successors expand their businesses could be linked more clearly to wider social benefits. The disadvantages are also less developed than the advantages, and the essay could explain how these costs compare with older people’s contributions. This gives the response a solid, relevant answer, but not yet consistently extended support.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, a paragraph on disadvantages and a conclusion. Signposting such as “To begin with,” “Moreover,” “In contrast” and “To conclude” makes the main stages easy to follow. Within paragraphs, however, several ideas are placed together without enough explanation of how one leads to the next. The business point, leisure time and family care, for instance, shift quickly, while the conclusion lists benefits without synthesising the comparison. Some linking is also mechanical, and references such as “this situation” and “this” in the business example could be more precise. More deliberate sequencing and clearer links between claims and examples would make progression smoother.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
You use an adequate range for the topic, including terms such as “lifespan,” “pension,” “scarcity of jobs,” “detrimental effects” and “decision making.” These choices show an effort to use more formal and topic-specific vocabulary. However, some less common expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “foster issues,” “favourable opinions,” “expand this tenure” and “valuable asset for their successors.” Spelling slips, including “argure,” “diaadvantages,” “individulas” and “realtionships,” also reduce accuracy. Meaning is generally recoverable, but more precise collocations and careful proofreading would improve clarity and make the vocabulary sound more natural. Aim to choose familiar, accurate phrasing rather than forcing formal expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “because,” “which” and “when,” and most ideas remain understandable. Some grammatical errors occur in sentence construction and agreement. For example, “these seniors may have been gone through” has an incorrect verb form, while “businesses … which create more jobs” has a mismatch between the singular noun “businesses” as used with “their own businesses” and the following clause’s reference. In “a number of individuals … open restaurants which offers jobs,” the relative clause needs to agree with “restaurants.” There are also punctuation and sentence-boundary issues, such as the comma after “especially.” Greater control of verb forms, agreement and clause punctuation would make the complex sentences more accurate.
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