Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Most of countries hasbeen recorded as a high life expectancy than ever before. It is argue that elderly people creates a problems, whilst some people believe that society needs such aging population. The main advantages of elderly people are engaged in their business and having good experience for doing taks. When they suffer from health issues, then it is difficult to care.This essay will discuss the merits outweigh the demerits.

To begin with, aging people who are captive to do their work, results most healthier; physically and mentally. This is because Business people engaged their efficient time to make productive service and product. As a result, wasting their time on company improve the government revenue and satisfied with the work.

In Japan, for instance, different age group of over 70 years old got engaged in theis work, which helped to increase GDP of that nation. Utimately, Government encourage for those people who get opportunities to do task. Furthermore, olderly people has high experience, that could lead to eradicates the company problems.

On the other hand, old traditions people who take responsibilities of their family members have wrong decision. That is to say that, they have superstious belief and traditions . Consequently, their family members also deprived to follow that belief which impacts the negative consequences in the society.

For example, Newari people from Kathmandu valley celebrate a festival by sutting a buffalo which was against the animal right act. Hence, government should take

an action to overcome from such superstitious belief.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You introduce both sides of the issue and state that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, but this position is not supported consistently. The discussion of older people’s work experience and contribution to business is relevant, and the Japan example attempts to illustrate an economic benefit. However, the essay does not clearly explain how these benefits compare with the costs of an aging population, such as healthcare or pension pressures. The disadvantage paragraph shifts to criticism of traditional beliefs and a festival, rather than explaining problems governments face when populations age. Several claims, including that older workers increase government revenue, need clearer explanation. Develop relevant advantages and disadvantages, then make the comparison explicit throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic essay structure, with an introduction, a paragraph beginning “To begin with,” and a contrasting paragraph introduced by “On the other hand.” These signals help readers identify the intended sections. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow: the link between older people working, “wasting their time on company,” and government revenue is unclear, and the final example does not clearly support the stated point about family decisions. Some linking expressions, such as “As a result” and “Hence,” are used without a sufficiently clear cause-and-effect relationship. Organise each paragraph around one main point, explain it in sequence, and use references and transitions that make the relationship between claims and examples explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “life expectancy,” “government revenue,” “GDP,” and “superstitious belief,” and you use some topic-related terms to discuss work and society. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make meaning unclear, such as “captive to do their work,” “productive service and product,” and “eradicates the company problems.” There are also noticeable spelling and word-form errors, including “taks,” “Utimately,” and “olderly.” These issues sometimes make the reader work to understand your point. Build a more accurate set of phrases for ageing, employment, public spending, and family care, and check spelling and collocations when editing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and subordinate clauses, for example, “This is because…” and “which helped to increase GDP,” but the range is limited and complex constructions are often faulty. Errors in agreement and verb forms appear in “Most of countries hasbeen recorded” and “elderly people creates a problems.” Articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries also need attention, as in “care.This essay” and “olderly people has high experience.” These recurring problems can make relationships between ideas difficult to follow, even though the general topic is usually recognisable. Practise accurate simple sentence patterns first, then add clauses while checking subject–verb agreement, articles, and punctuation.

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