Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Due to significnat advancements in medical science, healthcare anf facilities and living standards, life expectancy has increased considerably in many parts of the world. Although some people that ageing population places an additional burden on governments, I strongly agree with this because it creates substantial challenges for public healthcare systems and national economy.

One of the major difficulties associated with an ageing is the growing population on the healthcare. More people are likely to with various types of diseases like Malaria, Ferver, Aids. Due to these increase in diseases, expenses are increases which creates an additional financial pressure on government and also public. Consequently,government must introduce extra budget for hospital and their equipmentsand some countries expand their infrastrure. Another drawback is that due to advance in medical people's lives are more safe than past.Therefore, there is a danger of shortage of the food capacity.

Another significant concern is the negative impact of an ageing population on economic productivity. As the number of individuals grows, the proportion of the working age decrease, resulting in labour shortages and reduce taxes revenues. At the same time, governments are required to spend more on pensions.

On the other hand, China had controlled their population. They banned on more than one children. Resultantly, their was no younger guy in China which reduce the labour and effects on education.

In conclusion, i firmly believe thast an ageing could cause serious threats for governments, particularly in terms of healthcare departments, pensions schemes and economic productivity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear view that an ageing population creates serious problems, and you identify relevant concerns such as healthcare costs, pensions and a smaller workforce. However, the question asks you to weigh advantages against disadvantages, and the response gives almost no developed advantages or comparison; the China example also does not clearly explain the benefits or drawbacks of an ageing population. Several points are asserted rather than explained, such as the claim that older people create a “shortage of the food capacity.” The response therefore addresses the task only partially, with limited development of its ideas. It is also two words below the required minimum. To improve, discuss at least one genuine advantage, explain how it compares with the costs, and support each main point with a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs on healthcare and economic effects, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “Consequently,” “At the same time,” and “On the other hand” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, progression is uneven: the paragraph beginning “On the other hand” introduces China’s population policy without clearly linking it to the essay’s argument about an ageing society, and the conclusion mostly repeats the position rather than drawing together the discussion. Some connections are also unclear, particularly the move from increased life expectancy to food capacity. Build each paragraph around one clearly stated point, then explain its consequence and connect it explicitly to the question. More precise referencing and transitions would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “life expectancy,” “public healthcare systems,” “labour shortages,” “tax revenues,” and “pensions.” These choices show an attempt to discuss the issue beyond very basic language. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “population on the healthcare,” “food capacity,” and “their equipments.” Spelling errors—including “significat,” “infrastrure,” and “thast”—are noticeable and sometimes make the intended meaning harder to understand. Aim to use familiar terms accurately before reaching for less certain expressions. Learning collocations such as “place pressure on healthcare services” and “the working-age population” would help make your ideas more precise and natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a concession in “Although some people…” and a cause-and-effect structure beginning “As the number of individuals grows.” However, complex constructions are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to interpret. For example, “Although some people that ageing population places…” is missing a suitable verb structure, while “the proportion of the working age decrease” has problems with agreement and sentence form. There are also errors with articles, plurals and punctuation, as in “for hospital,” “their equipmentsand,” and the missing space after “Consequently,”. Practise building accurate subject–verb patterns and checking articles, agreement and sentence boundaries before adding more complex clauses.

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