Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In various countries, individuals are now having a longer lifespan compared before. It is argued that an aging population creates issues for governments. It is also thought that there are advantages if a society has more older people. Although people nearing their retirement age have a lot of experiences over their work. I believe that, they can be a hindrance to governments because of physical restrictions and being vulnerable to certain illnesses which could affect the economy. Nevertheless, disadvantages outweigh the advantage

On the one hand, elderly people have many work experiences which can be useful for business corporations. This is because practical experiences make individuals' work efficiently, by being used to work ethics and extreme pressure, it can result to a significant contribution in the reputation and economy of the industry. For instance, in Healthcare, neurosurgeon's education and acquiring practical skills take years of schooling, as they are dealing with vulnerable patients that require precision to prevent accidents that could lead to death. As a result, I believe that those people near retirement contributes considerably to society with their experiences.

On the other hand, the main drawbacks of being old are the degradation of their physical abilities and being vulnerable to certain illnesses. That is because as people get older, changes and damages can accumulate in the body, making it more vulnerable to diseases and illnesses that can affect the quality of their jobs which can affect the workforce of their field. For instance, in New Zealand dairy farmers require a worker that is physically strong and healthy because being a farmer demands heavy-labour and navigating through rough weathers. In addition, a portion of New Zealand's economy relies on the production of dairy farmers. Moreover, elderly individuals are also vulnerablr to illnesses such ad arthritis and osteoporisis which can slows down the production of certain corportations that require physicality.

In conclusion, old individuals can offer a lot of experiences which can contribute largely to the image and revenue of a business. However, I argue that they are incompatible in jobs that require physical because they are vulnerable to illnesses. Therefore, drawbacks outweigh the merit.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and state a clear view: “drawbacks outweigh the merit.” The discussion of older workers’ experience and the physical demands of some jobs is relevant, and the healthcare and New Zealand farming examples help illustrate these points. However, the response does not fully develop the comparison implied by “to what extent”: it explains possible benefits and disadvantages but gives limited consideration to broader effects on governments, such as pension or healthcare costs, or to how these might be balanced against older people’s contributions. The claim that older people are “incompatible” with physically demanding jobs is also broad and would benefit from qualification. Develop the reasoning behind your overall judgement more explicitly and distinguish individual job limitations from the value of an aging population as a whole.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for benefits and drawbacks, and a conclusion that restates your position. Linking phrases such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” make the overall progression easy to follow. Some connections between ideas are less clear or repetitive, however. In the first body paragraph, the movement from work experience to neurosurgeons is abrupt, and the example does not clearly establish how older people generally benefit society. In the second, repeated use of “which can affect” makes the reasoning feel mechanical. The opening sentence beginning “Although” is also left incomplete before the next sentence. Use clearer links between each claim and its example, and vary or reduce repeated connectors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “aging population,” “physical abilities,” “workforce,” and “production,” and you attempt more specific expressions such as “practical experiences” and “vulnerable patients.” This is enough to communicate the main ideas, but several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, which limits precision. For example, “having a longer lifespan compared before” and “contributes in the reputation” do not express the intended meanings naturally. There are also spelling errors, including “vulnerablr,” “osteoporisis,” and “corportations,” and some repetition of “illnesses” and “affect.” Build accuracy with common collocations and proofread spelling; choose precise terms rather than relying on broad phrases such as “certain illnesses.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “which,” and “as.” Most of the argument remains understandable, but some errors in sentence construction, agreement, and verb forms reduce accuracy. The opening “Although people nearing their retirement age have a lot of experiences over their work” is a dependent clause without a complete main clause. In “those people near retirement contributes,” the subject and verb do not agree, while “which can slows down” combines incompatible verb forms. The sentence beginning “by being used to work ethics” also has an unclear grammatical relationship between its clauses. Review complete sentence structure, subject–verb agreement, and verb patterns, then check punctuation around longer sentences.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.