Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In modern era,technology innovations has significantly improved health care and effiecency.so people lives longer than past. few claim that,older people increase problems for administration.other believe that there are some benefits if society has more elderly indivisuals.lets discuss merits and demerits of an aging population.

To begin with,first and formest advantage is that, having elderly people can plays crucial roles to takecare their younger once.young can obtain knowledge regarding culuture and remain connected with their roots.Moreover,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response identifies the topic and begins to discuss one relevant advantage: older people can care for younger family members and pass on cultural knowledge. However, it does not answer the central question about whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages: there is no clear position, no disadvantage is explained, and the ideas are not supported with examples or development. The response also falls substantially short of the required minimum length, leaving the task largely incomplete. To improve, state your view directly in the introduction, develop both sides with specific explanations and examples, and conclude by comparing their importance and reaffirming your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening introduces the issue, and “To begin with” signals the start of a supporting point. The ideas about family care and cultural knowledge are related, so the reader can follow the intended direction. However, the response stops abruptly at “Moreover,” and has no completed body development or conclusion, which prevents a clear progression across the essay. Some linking phrases, such as “first and foremost,” are used mechanically, and punctuation around them is inconsistent. Build distinct paragraphs for the introduction, each main argument, and the conclusion; use linking expressions only where they clarify the relationship between fully developed ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “health care,” “administration,” “knowledge,” and “cultural roots.” These choices make the general subject understandable. However, the range is limited, and several spelling and word-choice errors reduce accuracy, including “effiecency,” “indivisuals,” “formest,” and “younger once.” Some expressions are also unnatural, such as “young can obtain knowledge” and “takecare their younger once.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and a wider range of terms for discussing public costs, experience, caregiving, and social contributions. Proofreading spelling and choosing precise phrases will make your meaning clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both simple statements and a more developed sentence, for example, “people are now living longer” is conveyed through a cause-and-effect opening, and the point about older people passing on knowledge includes a reason. However, control of sentence structure and basic grammar is inconsistent. Examples include “technology innovations has,” where the subject and verb do not agree, “people lives,” and “having elderly people can plays,” which has an incorrect verb form. Articles, sentence boundaries, and punctuation also need attention; several sentences begin with lowercase letters or run together after full stops. Practise subject–verb agreement, verb patterns after modal verbs, and accurate sentence punctuation before attempting longer structures.

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