Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many countries, people are living longer than ever before due to improve health and medicine facilities and better lifestyle opportunities. Having an aging population outweighs many disadvantages such as elderly people being more mature and experienced towards different factors of life, in terms of business dealings, in terms of relationship, in terms of dealing with social and financial problems etc. They have a more flexible and and wise approach, as they have enough life experiences. It also reduces an overall resource cost as they demand lesser resource, as compared to young generation which is more technology dependent, less committed to cause and emotionally weak, these elders are mentally strong and can serve as important role models for youth. This would definitely reduce the bar for socio-economic problems as well as create a streamlined ideology for the young generation to follow. Taking successful businesses as an example, such as that of KFC and Apple, they were started by middle aged men and were remarkably strategized for expansion and are known worldwide. Much of the population in Japan consists of elderly individuals who even work to earn their bread in butter after retirements by starting up small scale or home based business such as cafes. Therefore, having an aging population is of more benefit than harm as they have lesser demands and a wiser approach towards life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall view that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages, and you offer relevant points about older people’s experience, role-modelling and continued work. However, the task asks you to weigh advantages against disadvantages, while the response mainly lists benefits and gives little explanation of the problems governments may face, such as pension or healthcare costs. Several claims, including that older people require fewer resources and that younger people are less committed, are asserted rather than supported. The examples of KFC, Apple and Japanese small businesses are relevant in principle but need clearer links to the argument. The response is also 24 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop both sides. Address the disadvantages directly and explain your comparison more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable line of argument: it introduces longer life expectancy, presents benefits and ends by restating that these outweigh the harm. Some linking expressions, such as “as” and “therefore,” help show relationships between ideas. However, most of the essay is one long paragraph, and the progression is difficult to follow because several different claims are packed into a single sequence. Repeated phrasing such as “in terms of” and the long list of qualities make the argument feel more like a collection of points than a developed discussion. The examples also arrive without enough explanation of how they support the main comparison. Use separate paragraphs for the opposing view and your position, and make each paragraph develop one central idea with clear links.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “aging population,” “role models,” “socio-economic problems” and “expansion.” These choices show an attempt to discuss social and economic effects rather than relying only on basic language. Some less common expressions are not used naturally or precisely, however: “flexible and wise approach,” “reduce the bar for socio-economic problems,” and “earn their bread in butter” make parts of the argument unclear or awkward. There is also repetition of “in terms of,” and “resource” is used imprecisely when discussing older people’s needs. Aim for accurate collocations and more specific terms, such as “ease social pressures” or “contribute to the workforce,” while keeping your meaning direct.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a cause-and-effect opening and longer sentences with clauses introduced by “as” and “which.” The main ideas are generally understandable, but some sentences become difficult to control because they contain several clauses and lists. For example, the sentence beginning “It also reduces an overall resource cost” runs through multiple comparisons before reaching its point, and the final example sentence has an unclear structure around “after retirements by starting up.” There are also errors in agreement and form, such as “they demand lesser resource,” and the repeated “and and” disrupts accuracy. Break long sentences into shorter units, check subject–verb agreement and articles, and proofread punctuation.

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